I have a couple of things to update. Nothing too exciting, but updates none the less.
No news or info on the CNK. I have told Dani several times that no one can touch her body except Mommy, Daddy, and her doctor and if anyone ever does, she needs to tell us right away. I’ve been telling her every other day or so to make sure she gets the message. At this point she doesn’t seem to be freaked out or worried; in fact she doesn’t even seem to hear me, but I know she is listening. I did appreciate everyone’s input on the situation. Someone who posted anon said that I needed to call Children’s Services and get authorities involved. Believe me, if I felt that this child was a dangerous threat to my daughter or to anyone else’s kid, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, my gut tells me that he has been exposed to something inappropriate but I don’t feel that he is a predator. Second, I don’t really have anything to go to the authorities about. Just my list of things that creep me out. Rest assured that at no time is he out of my sight and/or listening distance when he is at my home. Neither is any other child who is here for that matter. It drives me crazy when I see kids out all day without a parent. I may be slightly overprotective though.
Next topic, I am redoing my kitchen cabinets. They did have a wood finish. They were very nice, but old, so I am giving them a touch up. Actually, I am making them look older. I have crackle finished my cabinet fronts and I am painting the rest of the cabinets a white color. I am contemplating painting my kitchen walls a blue color that matches the countertops. I will have E take some pictures for me so that I can get some input from all of you lovely people.
Third topic, the RE’s office called me back and I have an appt. toward the end of August. I’m just whiling away the days until then. My uterus blew my mind this week. I had my period again after only 35 days. I couldn’t believe it… I haven’t had cycles that close since being on the pill.
Topic four. School starts next week on the 2nd. Besides the obligatory “first day of school picture” how do the rest of you commemorate that special day?
Topic five. This is the worst. It started out great. It was a beautiful day today so my neighbor and I took the kiddos to the beach for the afternoon. We went into the water one last time to rinse off and I got slammed by a wave. I tried desperately to keep my suit bottom from getting pulled out into the Gulf and succeeded… however, my right booby wanted to get some sun. Yes, I flashed the entire beach my right boob. I guess nipple slips are so passé that I had to raise the bar. E was very upset that he missed it.
So what embarrassing moments will all of you treasure from this summer?
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Proud Mom Moment
I took Dani to register for kindergarten and I was received by a very friendly receptionist who barraged me with a pile of paperwork. Thankfully, with my experience at filling out adoption paperwork I was eerily prepared and breezed right through it. I came armed with birth certificates, marriage license, residence information, and shot records. It was very self affirming.
I sat down to fill out the registration forms and gave Dani some paper and a pen to keep herself busy with. She started drawing pictures of herself and me. Lately her pictures have developed from lopsided circles with sticks for limbs to more rounded circles with sticks. So, she hasn’t come far in that respect, but she has been paying more attention to detail. She was describing what she was drawing, “Here’s my hair, and my eyes….and my ears, and hands. Oh, and here are my phalanges.” I was so proud. I almost heard the receptionist’s neck snap as she looked toward us. Internally I screamed, “YES! I have an exceptional child!”
And OMG! Yesterday she turned 5!
I sat down to fill out the registration forms and gave Dani some paper and a pen to keep herself busy with. She started drawing pictures of herself and me. Lately her pictures have developed from lopsided circles with sticks for limbs to more rounded circles with sticks. So, she hasn’t come far in that respect, but she has been paying more attention to detail. She was describing what she was drawing, “Here’s my hair, and my eyes….and my ears, and hands. Oh, and here are my phalanges.” I was so proud. I almost heard the receptionist’s neck snap as she looked toward us. Internally I screamed, “YES! I have an exceptional child!”
And OMG! Yesterday she turned 5!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
I's Purty Smart, Ain't I?
*Slight update on the CNK. He has been lying to us about his age. He is not 8, only 6 ½.*
I think that if any of you knew me, you may find me a little annoying. I love to cook, clean my house, raise my daughter and decorate my house to look like the inside of a magazine, though the last is far from true at this point. I even enjoy dieting because I get to cook two different dinners; one for E and Dani and the other for me. I just love cooking.
I manage all the money in our house, keep on top of the bills to a point that almost annoys E, and I am always making new plans on paying off our loans earlier.
But I had my shining moment today. Before I sound like a complete dimwit, I need to give some background. We have not had a house phone for 3 years. We have only had our cell phones.
So, I had called NW4B to ask if they would like to come over for dessert. They were busy and didn’t answer the phone so I Ieft a message with my request.
So, I call another friend and invite her and her girls to Dani’s birthday party next weekend. Then this beeping starts and I almost ask her is she has another call, because I hear beeping on the line. But I am the one getting the call. But I don’t know how to switch over because it’s a brand new phone and I don’t know how all the buttons work. I can see on the caller ID that it is my neighbor. So I’ll just call her back.
When I get done, I do so, and NW4B says they will be down in a little while.
Fast forward to when we are having dessert and NW4B asks if she listened to my voicemail.
“I have voicemail?”
“I didn’t know I had voicemail.”
“Is that why my dial tone sounds weird whenever I pick up the phone?”
So, after they left, E calls to check our voicemail and he has to set up the password and everything. He checks our voicemail and there are 3 messages. Two from my aunt, who called on the 3rd of July, and one from NW4B.
I felt so stupid.
I think that if any of you knew me, you may find me a little annoying. I love to cook, clean my house, raise my daughter and decorate my house to look like the inside of a magazine, though the last is far from true at this point. I even enjoy dieting because I get to cook two different dinners; one for E and Dani and the other for me. I just love cooking.
I manage all the money in our house, keep on top of the bills to a point that almost annoys E, and I am always making new plans on paying off our loans earlier.
But I had my shining moment today. Before I sound like a complete dimwit, I need to give some background. We have not had a house phone for 3 years. We have only had our cell phones.
So, I had called NW4B to ask if they would like to come over for dessert. They were busy and didn’t answer the phone so I Ieft a message with my request.
So, I call another friend and invite her and her girls to Dani’s birthday party next weekend. Then this beeping starts and I almost ask her is she has another call, because I hear beeping on the line. But I am the one getting the call. But I don’t know how to switch over because it’s a brand new phone and I don’t know how all the buttons work. I can see on the caller ID that it is my neighbor. So I’ll just call her back.
When I get done, I do so, and NW4B says they will be down in a little while.
Fast forward to when we are having dessert and NW4B asks if she listened to my voicemail.
“I have voicemail?”
“I didn’t know I had voicemail.”
“Is that why my dial tone sounds weird whenever I pick up the phone?”
So, after they left, E calls to check our voicemail and he has to set up the password and everything. He checks our voicemail and there are 3 messages. Two from my aunt, who called on the 3rd of July, and one from NW4B.
I felt so stupid.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Mama Bear Out
I really appreciate everyone’s comments on my last post. You have all, again, reaffirmed to me that my instincts are right. I am especially glad that the 2 anon peeps spoke up. I feel that in a situation like this, all insights are valuable. I hope that in the future you will continue to speak up in situations where 360 degrees of opinions are needed.
I have thought long and hard about what my actions will be. I don’t want to ostracize the poor kid. He obviously needs some direction that he may not be getting from home. Ideally, I would like the topic to come up casually so that I can talk to him about it without scaring him or embarrassing him. I also would like to talk to his mom. She is a very sweet person though I fear a bit ignorant or too proud. Even to close to the situation. As much as he annoys me, I want to be a person in his life that he can trust. It’s that mother instinct that I seem to have toward all children even if they scare me.
Problem is, I can’t fix everyone. I am going to continue to watch the situation closely and the second that he attempts something else inappropriate, I am going to call him on it. I will also go to his mom, discuss it calmly and suggest that she go to her family doctor to find some resources to get her son help. I want to be supportive and not that neighbor who made her son out to be monster.
I will keep you updated on the situation as it unfolds.
I have thought long and hard about what my actions will be. I don’t want to ostracize the poor kid. He obviously needs some direction that he may not be getting from home. Ideally, I would like the topic to come up casually so that I can talk to him about it without scaring him or embarrassing him. I also would like to talk to his mom. She is a very sweet person though I fear a bit ignorant or too proud. Even to close to the situation. As much as he annoys me, I want to be a person in his life that he can trust. It’s that mother instinct that I seem to have toward all children even if they scare me.
Problem is, I can’t fix everyone. I am going to continue to watch the situation closely and the second that he attempts something else inappropriate, I am going to call him on it. I will also go to his mom, discuss it calmly and suggest that she go to her family doctor to find some resources to get her son help. I want to be supportive and not that neighbor who made her son out to be monster.
I will keep you updated on the situation as it unfolds.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Protecting Your Young
I feel at a stand still getting the house done. Most everything is unpacked. We want to redo our living room with different furniture and a new home office area but we ran out of money. We got E a little white truck with the cash we had saved up. I also bought E a kayak for Father’s Day, and we had to pay for 20 days of our hotel while we were waiting for the house to close. So, I have all the fantastic ideas for the house, but no money to do it with. In time, our savings will start to grow again, but there are other things that are more important.
First, Dani’s birthday is on the 17th. She will be 5.
5!!!!
My baby!!
5!!!
And I have no idea what we are going to do for her big present. I would like to get her a trampoline. I think she would have a blast if she would actually use it. Some neighbors down the street have an in ground one. That sounds awesome. I would also have to dig up my beautiful green yard.
I would like to throw her a party, but we only know 2 little girls her age. There are several other kids in the neighborhood, but they are all boys and with the exception of one, they are older.
Speaking of older boys, there is one particular boy (8 years old) in our neighborhood that……concerns me. I have named him the Creepy Neighborhood Kid (CNK). This sounds cruel, but I am an adult and he makes me very uncomfortable. There have been some things that he has done while playing with Dani that I find odd. Let me make a list.
1. He knows no boundaries of personal space.
2. The first few times that he came over, Dani would go into her room to get a toy and he would follow her, and immediately close the door. I didn’t think of this much the first time, but after a few minutes, Dani started crying and she said that “he was laying on me”.
3. This caused me to make the rule that doors stay open unless you are in the bathroom.
4. One day when they were playing, I quietly peeked in Dani’s room and she was laying sideways on her bed reading a book. He was standing at her knees with his hands on the bed on either side of her like he was getting ready to get on the bed with her. He jumped away and said, “I’m not doing anything.”
5. Now I have a rule that they aren’t allowed in her room.
6. He picked up E’s cordless drill, that did not have a drill bit in it, and put it to my temple and he said he was going to kill me. I told him, “Oh no, that is absolutely not OK to do at my house.”
7. He told Dani that she was stupid because she didn’t know what 2 + 2 was. She came and asked me if she was stupid and I told her of course not! I explained to CNK that he is twice her age, and he is going into 3rd grade and that she is very smart for a little girl who is not 5 yet.
8. He wanted to play a game with Dani that he was putting her into jail because she was drinking beer and doing drugs. I told him that she doesn’t know what those are, and to please not play games like that.
9. He came into my room following Dani who wanted to ask me a question. She climbed onto my bed next to me to snuggle. He climbed up as well and spooned her. I tried to make a joke out of it and told him to sit up. If he was tired, then he could go home to take a nap.
10. Shortly after that, I made a new rule that they could only play in the front yard and only if Dani wanted to. My reason to him was that if his mother called for him, he would hear her. This also allowed Dani to make the decision if she wanted to play with him or not.
11. The day after I made that rule, I met a new neighbor down the street. She has 4 boys the youngest of which will be 6. She heard me tell CNK that they could play in the yard, not house, and told me, “That’s a good rule to have.” She then proceeded to tell me that 2 days before she had popped open the locked door to her son’s bedroom and found CNK naked on top of her 5 year old son. Let say, someone’s business was in some else’s mouth. He jumped off the bed, blamed it on her son, and then said they weren’t doing anything wrong. She took him home and made him tell his father what happened. He blamed it on her 5 year old saying that he was doing it too.
12. He told me his favorite movie is Chucky.
13. Neighbor with 4 boys (NW4B) has since ‘had it out’ with CNK’s parents and the boys are no longer allowed to play with each other.
14. The CNK told me I was his ‘Love’.
15. He likes to hug me. This is uncomfortable because I have a large chest and his head comes right to it. So, I avoid it at all if possible, if not, I bend down.
16. He told Dani, when he thought that I wasn’t listening, that if she didn’t show him her teeth, he would hit her.
17. His mother called me after NW4B and I met to tell me how wonderful her son is and how sweet, and smart he is.
18. His actions have made me so concerned that I spoke to my doctor about it and asked him what I should teach Dani about inappropriate behavior.
19. When he comes over, he rings the door bell and bangs on the door and peeks through the window until we answer the door.
So, am I overreacting at all by feeling that the next time I see this child will be too soon? You know what else scares me? She will be riding the school bus with him. If he hasn’t isolated her, are there other children in danger? I almost want him to try something so that I can catch him. Then I will have a valid concern to talk to his mother about. However, while on the phone with me, she said repeatedly that she believed in her son. They have had no problems in the 2 years that they have lived here and NW4B has only been here a few months.
You know what else terrifies me? I was molested by classmates from 3rd until 5th grade. It doesn’t only happen from adults. How am I supposed to protect Dani while she is at school? My parents never knew. Will I?
First, Dani’s birthday is on the 17th. She will be 5.
5!!!!
My baby!!
5!!!
And I have no idea what we are going to do for her big present. I would like to get her a trampoline. I think she would have a blast if she would actually use it. Some neighbors down the street have an in ground one. That sounds awesome. I would also have to dig up my beautiful green yard.
I would like to throw her a party, but we only know 2 little girls her age. There are several other kids in the neighborhood, but they are all boys and with the exception of one, they are older.
Speaking of older boys, there is one particular boy (8 years old) in our neighborhood that……concerns me. I have named him the Creepy Neighborhood Kid (CNK). This sounds cruel, but I am an adult and he makes me very uncomfortable. There have been some things that he has done while playing with Dani that I find odd. Let me make a list.
1. He knows no boundaries of personal space.
2. The first few times that he came over, Dani would go into her room to get a toy and he would follow her, and immediately close the door. I didn’t think of this much the first time, but after a few minutes, Dani started crying and she said that “he was laying on me”.
3. This caused me to make the rule that doors stay open unless you are in the bathroom.
4. One day when they were playing, I quietly peeked in Dani’s room and she was laying sideways on her bed reading a book. He was standing at her knees with his hands on the bed on either side of her like he was getting ready to get on the bed with her. He jumped away and said, “I’m not doing anything.”
5. Now I have a rule that they aren’t allowed in her room.
6. He picked up E’s cordless drill, that did not have a drill bit in it, and put it to my temple and he said he was going to kill me. I told him, “Oh no, that is absolutely not OK to do at my house.”
7. He told Dani that she was stupid because she didn’t know what 2 + 2 was. She came and asked me if she was stupid and I told her of course not! I explained to CNK that he is twice her age, and he is going into 3rd grade and that she is very smart for a little girl who is not 5 yet.
8. He wanted to play a game with Dani that he was putting her into jail because she was drinking beer and doing drugs. I told him that she doesn’t know what those are, and to please not play games like that.
9. He came into my room following Dani who wanted to ask me a question. She climbed onto my bed next to me to snuggle. He climbed up as well and spooned her. I tried to make a joke out of it and told him to sit up. If he was tired, then he could go home to take a nap.
10. Shortly after that, I made a new rule that they could only play in the front yard and only if Dani wanted to. My reason to him was that if his mother called for him, he would hear her. This also allowed Dani to make the decision if she wanted to play with him or not.
11. The day after I made that rule, I met a new neighbor down the street. She has 4 boys the youngest of which will be 6. She heard me tell CNK that they could play in the yard, not house, and told me, “That’s a good rule to have.” She then proceeded to tell me that 2 days before she had popped open the locked door to her son’s bedroom and found CNK naked on top of her 5 year old son. Let say, someone’s business was in some else’s mouth. He jumped off the bed, blamed it on her son, and then said they weren’t doing anything wrong. She took him home and made him tell his father what happened. He blamed it on her 5 year old saying that he was doing it too.
12. He told me his favorite movie is Chucky.
13. Neighbor with 4 boys (NW4B) has since ‘had it out’ with CNK’s parents and the boys are no longer allowed to play with each other.
14. The CNK told me I was his ‘Love’.
15. He likes to hug me. This is uncomfortable because I have a large chest and his head comes right to it. So, I avoid it at all if possible, if not, I bend down.
16. He told Dani, when he thought that I wasn’t listening, that if she didn’t show him her teeth, he would hit her.
17. His mother called me after NW4B and I met to tell me how wonderful her son is and how sweet, and smart he is.
18. His actions have made me so concerned that I spoke to my doctor about it and asked him what I should teach Dani about inappropriate behavior.
19. When he comes over, he rings the door bell and bangs on the door and peeks through the window until we answer the door.
So, am I overreacting at all by feeling that the next time I see this child will be too soon? You know what else scares me? She will be riding the school bus with him. If he hasn’t isolated her, are there other children in danger? I almost want him to try something so that I can catch him. Then I will have a valid concern to talk to his mother about. However, while on the phone with me, she said repeatedly that she believed in her son. They have had no problems in the 2 years that they have lived here and NW4B has only been here a few months.
You know what else terrifies me? I was molested by classmates from 3rd until 5th grade. It doesn’t only happen from adults. How am I supposed to protect Dani while she is at school? My parents never knew. Will I?
Friday, June 30, 2006
Happy 4th!!!
Now that we live in the same state as our mother's we are heading out tomorrow for the obligitory long weekend visit. E has a four day weekend so we have some extra time to kill. We are only spending Sat. and Sun. with his brother, wife, nephew, and mother then we are coming home. We still have a lot of work to do in the house and maybe this weekend I will be able to get my new dining room table.
I love my mother-in-law for the wonderful man that she raised in E. His other two brothers are, for the most part, very nice too. Both are in long term, satisfying relationships. I just love E. He is a fantastic husband and father. His mom, C, and his dad, J, divorced when E was 1. J moved to Michigan and E and his brother only saw him a handful of times during their childhood. I can't even begin to calculate the amount of child support that they boys never saw. So, C raised the boys on her own. She had her mom and dad nearby to help and E feels very satisfied his childhood.
As much as I respect what she has done with the boys, visiting them is always a little uncomfortable. They live at the bottom of the Okefenokee Swamp in northern Florida. E's mom is a believer in nature and I lovingly refer to her as The Swamp Witch....cuz she kinda really is. She fits the bill by being a small statured woman, surrounded by cats (about 30), raspy voice (from 40 years of smoking), she reads Tarot, and she has been known to wish unfortunate events on people that occured. She insists that the house not infringe on the woods that they live in. For example, no trees get cut down, no flower beds planted, and the lawn rarely gets mowed. We won't discuss the roach problem before my brother-in-law and his wife moved in with her.
They had to move in with her you see, because one year she got sick. And none of her boys called to see if she was OK. She was determined to die there as a lesson to the boys I guess. So, the dutiful oldest son moved out there so that if she got sick again they would be able to help her. She cut down on smoking....now she only smokes outside when she isn't sucking off the oxygen tank. Eh, what are you gonna do?
So, we are off for the weekend. I can't wait to come home.
Happy 4th Everyone!!!!
I love my mother-in-law for the wonderful man that she raised in E. His other two brothers are, for the most part, very nice too. Both are in long term, satisfying relationships. I just love E. He is a fantastic husband and father. His mom, C, and his dad, J, divorced when E was 1. J moved to Michigan and E and his brother only saw him a handful of times during their childhood. I can't even begin to calculate the amount of child support that they boys never saw. So, C raised the boys on her own. She had her mom and dad nearby to help and E feels very satisfied his childhood.
As much as I respect what she has done with the boys, visiting them is always a little uncomfortable. They live at the bottom of the Okefenokee Swamp in northern Florida. E's mom is a believer in nature and I lovingly refer to her as The Swamp Witch....cuz she kinda really is. She fits the bill by being a small statured woman, surrounded by cats (about 30), raspy voice (from 40 years of smoking), she reads Tarot, and she has been known to wish unfortunate events on people that occured. She insists that the house not infringe on the woods that they live in. For example, no trees get cut down, no flower beds planted, and the lawn rarely gets mowed. We won't discuss the roach problem before my brother-in-law and his wife moved in with her.
They had to move in with her you see, because one year she got sick. And none of her boys called to see if she was OK. She was determined to die there as a lesson to the boys I guess. So, the dutiful oldest son moved out there so that if she got sick again they would be able to help her. She cut down on smoking....now she only smokes outside when she isn't sucking off the oxygen tank. Eh, what are you gonna do?
So, we are off for the weekend. I can't wait to come home.
Happy 4th Everyone!!!!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Sitting On the Nest
I am officially under the care of a civilian doctor. I didn’t know that doctor’s were friendly and listened to your concerns!! I love my doctor in case you can’t tell. He was very concerned about my back pain and my infertility both which have plagued me my entire adult life. Probably in some parallel universe they are related.
He seemed distressed that I was on day 60 of my cycle and that my abdomen was severely distended and tender. He did bloodwork to confirm the diagnosis of PCOS, which the diagnosing doctor did NOT do. He cannot, however, prescribe Clomid so he sent a referral out through our insurance. I told him my back pain is not primary for me right now so we are waiting to begin a pain management regimen.
I expected a good 3 weeks to hear anything about a referral so imagine my surprise to get a call saying that I had been referred to a civilian! RE. The only daunting part of becoming a patient of theirs it that I had to go through the past 10 years of my medical records and pull out everything pertinent to my infertility. But I did it, I filled out their forms, got the 2 reports that I needed from E’s med. file and sent it off to their office in Pensacola. I’m currently waiting for the nurse to look through the papers to schedule an appt.
I am optimistic about TTC again. At the same time, I feel….guilty about leaving adoption on the back burner. E and I discussed in depth our feelings on our drive down here. I am still pulled to adoption.
I made the mistake of looking at the national database of available children. So many of them had severe medical problems. I wish that I had the strength to explore that but I don’t want to make myself vulnerable to falling in love with a child only to have to turn them away because I can’t provide what they need emotionally.
I also feel that now, I am not in the same genre that most of my other bloggy friends are. I was so grateful to have connected with the families who were in the same situation that I was. Now, they are moving on and I kind of took a detour. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge them in any way. I am ecstatic that these loving mothers are getting the opportunity to share their love with children. I just feel like, in some way, I chickened out.
He seemed distressed that I was on day 60 of my cycle and that my abdomen was severely distended and tender. He did bloodwork to confirm the diagnosis of PCOS, which the diagnosing doctor did NOT do. He cannot, however, prescribe Clomid so he sent a referral out through our insurance. I told him my back pain is not primary for me right now so we are waiting to begin a pain management regimen.
I expected a good 3 weeks to hear anything about a referral so imagine my surprise to get a call saying that I had been referred to a civilian! RE. The only daunting part of becoming a patient of theirs it that I had to go through the past 10 years of my medical records and pull out everything pertinent to my infertility. But I did it, I filled out their forms, got the 2 reports that I needed from E’s med. file and sent it off to their office in Pensacola. I’m currently waiting for the nurse to look through the papers to schedule an appt.
I am optimistic about TTC again. At the same time, I feel….guilty about leaving adoption on the back burner. E and I discussed in depth our feelings on our drive down here. I am still pulled to adoption.
I made the mistake of looking at the national database of available children. So many of them had severe medical problems. I wish that I had the strength to explore that but I don’t want to make myself vulnerable to falling in love with a child only to have to turn them away because I can’t provide what they need emotionally.
I also feel that now, I am not in the same genre that most of my other bloggy friends are. I was so grateful to have connected with the families who were in the same situation that I was. Now, they are moving on and I kind of took a detour. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge them in any way. I am ecstatic that these loving mothers are getting the opportunity to share their love with children. I just feel like, in some way, I chickened out.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Happy Birthday
Dear Lana,
Today is your first birthday! You will never know how badly we wanted to spend it with you. In fact, you will never how deeply you touched our lives and still do every day. There are so many things that I wanted to teach you and my deepest wish is that your family will be able to teach you those things instead.
Even though you can’t be with us, you are still a daily part of my life. I think about you every day and love you deeply. Some day, I hope that you will get to love a child as much as I love you and that somewhere in your soul you will discover all of the love that I have sent you over your whole life.
While I think of you everyday, I wonder when the pain of losing you will start to feel better. I see little girls your age all the time and it always makes me wonder what you are doing, what you are eating, and whether you are laughing..
I am not the only one who misses you. Dani asks all the time about you. She says she is sad that you didn’t come home with us. We told her that you stayed with your family in Russia and we are happy that you have a home. She wanted a baby sister badly and it’s hard for her to understand what happened. Over time, she will probably forget and stop asking. I look forward to and dread that time. I like talking about you even if I don’t have any memories with you.
I do have one memory, the first time that I saw your face. I gasped because you were so perfect. You had a look in your eyes that to me was searching and unsure of the person who was looking at you. Maybe you had just woken up and didn’t want your picture taken. Either way, I fell in love with you in that instant, much in the same way that I fell in love with Dani the moment she was born.
I could go on and on about how much I love you; it will never cease. To me, that’s how I know that I am your mother although a very different one that you hold in that role now.
I hope that when you get older, you look at the stars and feel love. That you smell a flower and feel loved. That you ride a merry- go- round and feel loved. That you laugh and feel loved. Even if you cry that you feel loved.
Because you are.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mama
Today is your first birthday! You will never know how badly we wanted to spend it with you. In fact, you will never how deeply you touched our lives and still do every day. There are so many things that I wanted to teach you and my deepest wish is that your family will be able to teach you those things instead.
Even though you can’t be with us, you are still a daily part of my life. I think about you every day and love you deeply. Some day, I hope that you will get to love a child as much as I love you and that somewhere in your soul you will discover all of the love that I have sent you over your whole life.
While I think of you everyday, I wonder when the pain of losing you will start to feel better. I see little girls your age all the time and it always makes me wonder what you are doing, what you are eating, and whether you are laughing..
I am not the only one who misses you. Dani asks all the time about you. She says she is sad that you didn’t come home with us. We told her that you stayed with your family in Russia and we are happy that you have a home. She wanted a baby sister badly and it’s hard for her to understand what happened. Over time, she will probably forget and stop asking. I look forward to and dread that time. I like talking about you even if I don’t have any memories with you.
I do have one memory, the first time that I saw your face. I gasped because you were so perfect. You had a look in your eyes that to me was searching and unsure of the person who was looking at you. Maybe you had just woken up and didn’t want your picture taken. Either way, I fell in love with you in that instant, much in the same way that I fell in love with Dani the moment she was born.
I could go on and on about how much I love you; it will never cease. To me, that’s how I know that I am your mother although a very different one that you hold in that role now.
I hope that when you get older, you look at the stars and feel love. That you smell a flower and feel loved. That you ride a merry- go- round and feel loved. That you laugh and feel loved. Even if you cry that you feel loved.
Because you are.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mama
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Travel days 2 & 3
Ok, we are in our house, we have internet. Half of our boxes are unpacked and I have lost steam. So, I will continue the Canada Saga.
Our second day (4/27) was pretty uneventful the first half of the day. Sometime after lunch we started seeing really big piles of poop along the road and I thought it was very odd that there were horses around because there we NO people. Then we happened upon a buffalo sign. A buffalo sign? Yes. Not long after, we rounded a bend in the road and saw this.
Pretty cool huh? Later on getting to dinner time E is driving and he says, “Bear!!” And there is a bear running along the woods. It was so awesome. It must have come out of hibernation a few days ago. We barely recovered from the shock of the bear and we see a small herd of elk. It was a good day. That was the night that we stopped at the Liard River Hot Springs. There was a really cute lodge that we got some good grub at. It was so nice inside and they said they had a pet room that we could have the dog in. So we decided to stay.
Thank goodness we did because the next ‘town’ was 3 hours away and the next morning as we drove through it, it wasn’t even open. See, in the Yukon and British Columbia, from September to May, most roadside amenities are not open because there is no business during the winter. So if you are planning a trip on the AlCan, plan your stops in larger cities so that you can at least fill up your gas tank.On day 3 (4/28), we started the morning driving through and around Sheep Mountain. Aptly named because of the huge herds of Dall Sheep that live on the slopes. It’s amazing when you look at the mountain and wonder why there are those odd clumps of snow on the hill. Then you realize that they are SHEEP!! The little things amaze me.
After we came off sheep mountain we spotted this little poser.
Oh, and they really are more afraid of you, than you are of them. (that's a caribou running alongside our van)
By the end of the day we made it to the city of Dawson, a.k.a. the end of the Alaska Highway. I kind of wish that I did buy a bumper sticker commemorating the event but, there’s no turning back now.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Moving with the military is FUN!!
I have been putting off telling you all about our trip from Alaska to Canada cuz you know, I’ve been so busy…. sitting by the pool, tanning, and eating at every fabulous restaurant in town. Let me say first off, thank you all so much for your words of encouragement regarding my Mom. It really meant a lot to me and it solidified my position on how important stability is. Thank You.
Now, onto our first day of travel. E had his out processing appointment at 10 am. Now, when military members leave one base for another, they are given a checklist of all the places that they need to clear to get taken out of their systems. No problem….unless there are offices not on the list. Like dental, immunizations, immunizations for your dependents. So, E goes to his appt.
No dental records.
So we drive to the clinic to get his records. He was so ticked, he just dropped his stuff on the floor and came out. He didn’t bring a copy of his orders. Thankfully, they gave him what he needed anyway.
We go back with his dental records.
No immunization clearance.
So, we go back to the clinic to get his records.
While he is in there, he gets a copy of Dani’s records because ‘we need them for the border’. He can’t get mine because he doesn’t have a release form.
So, I go in and get my records.
We go back with our records in hand, and E finally gets all his documents sealed.
It is currently 12:00. An appointment that should have taken 30 minutes TOPS took two hours because their ‘checklist’ has not been updated.
So, we finally leave the base and are 2 hours behind. We hoped to get to Whitehorse by the evening but got to Haines Junction instead which was about 4 hours east of Whitehorse. But we made it out of Alaska and into Canada.
I don’t think that anything spectacular happened on that first day. We were just really glad to be on the road. Oh, and they never asked to see our shot records.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I love my mom... I really do
My shakable faith is not only grounded in spirituality. My childhood had a lot to do with my faith. Looking back, and being a parent, I realize how important it is to a child to be able to depend on their parents. My parents divorced when I was 13. My mother worked long hours and subsequently developed Epstein Bar Syndrome which ultimately led to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. So, for my teen years, she slept and my dad was kind of estranged.
I quickly learned that if I needed my mom for something she would either forget what I needed, or else she would give me access to what I needed; i.e. her ATM card, a signed check, the grocery list, keys to the car. To a normal teenager it would seem like the ultimate freedom. To me it was very lonely. There were several milestones during my teen years that I didn’t feel I could share with my mother. Cheerleading competitions, dances, buying a prom dress (which I didn’t nor did I attend the prom), my boyfriend, sex, homework… things that now I wish I had been more persistent instead of letting her rest. Add in managing my siblings and I felt more isolated. So, over time, I learned not to rely on my mother, because even though physically she was there, she really wasn’t.
I can deal with that, it’s the past, I’m a responsible parent, and I am available to Dani. I’m very proud of that. But now, and this makes me angry, Dani is going to learn soon that she can’t rely on Grandma. Last week, my mother told me that they missed us too much and they had to come up to visit, just for a night. They would be here on Wed. (today). Since I don’t rely on my mother, I didn’t tell Dani. I did not want her to look forward to Grandma coming, and it not happen (she was devastated last year when Grandma and Grandpa did not make for her birthday as promised). There have been so many things that we have told her would happen and they didn’t, like welcoming a sister. I didn’t want to add one more disappointment. Besides, I figured I would tell Dani today that they would be here and it would be a huge surprise.
I called my mom this morning to ask what their plans were and, hold the revolution of the Earth, they are not coming today. But she was going to call so that we weren’t waiting until the last minute. Maybe she forgot that today was Wed. because I feel that the last minute would have been last night, not a few hours before we expected them to arrive. I’m glad I called and that I didn’t tell Dani they were coming. I’m also glad that we didn’t reserve them a room because we know how responsible my mom is with money and waiting until the last minute.
I quickly learned that if I needed my mom for something she would either forget what I needed, or else she would give me access to what I needed; i.e. her ATM card, a signed check, the grocery list, keys to the car. To a normal teenager it would seem like the ultimate freedom. To me it was very lonely. There were several milestones during my teen years that I didn’t feel I could share with my mother. Cheerleading competitions, dances, buying a prom dress (which I didn’t nor did I attend the prom), my boyfriend, sex, homework… things that now I wish I had been more persistent instead of letting her rest. Add in managing my siblings and I felt more isolated. So, over time, I learned not to rely on my mother, because even though physically she was there, she really wasn’t.
I can deal with that, it’s the past, I’m a responsible parent, and I am available to Dani. I’m very proud of that. But now, and this makes me angry, Dani is going to learn soon that she can’t rely on Grandma. Last week, my mother told me that they missed us too much and they had to come up to visit, just for a night. They would be here on Wed. (today). Since I don’t rely on my mother, I didn’t tell Dani. I did not want her to look forward to Grandma coming, and it not happen (she was devastated last year when Grandma and Grandpa did not make for her birthday as promised). There have been so many things that we have told her would happen and they didn’t, like welcoming a sister. I didn’t want to add one more disappointment. Besides, I figured I would tell Dani today that they would be here and it would be a huge surprise.
I called my mom this morning to ask what their plans were and, hold the revolution of the Earth, they are not coming today. But she was going to call so that we weren’t waiting until the last minute. Maybe she forgot that today was Wed. because I feel that the last minute would have been last night, not a few hours before we expected them to arrive. I’m glad I called and that I didn’t tell Dani they were coming. I’m also glad that we didn’t reserve them a room because we know how responsible my mom is with money and waiting until the last minute.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I'm a big tease
Dani in the pool? Nay you say? Ha! I say. She is offically a water baby. I conquered her fear by teasing her into thinking I would let her hold onto the railing on the steps. I let her get close then pulled her back and said, "No, you can't grab that railing!" Which is a game that we play daily, "No, you can't brush your teeth; get dressed; eat that sandwich; or anything else that I want you to do." Reverse psychology? Yeah, I'm a pro.
Now she jumps in, will wear floaties, and we even held hands and swam to the rope that designates the deep end. I can't believe how much she did so quickly. I think for the past couple of weeks she has been watching all of the other kids in the pool and once she trusted me that I wasn't going to let her flounder, she was ready to go. I'm really proud but very exhausted. She wants to be in the water all the time. I guess I created a monster.
Next, I want to teach her the doggie paddle.
And I need some help. I am really tired of eating in restraunts. I want to cook. Does anyone have any meal ideas that I can put together on paper plates using a microwave? My waistline will thank you.
Now she jumps in, will wear floaties, and we even held hands and swam to the rope that designates the deep end. I can't believe how much she did so quickly. I think for the past couple of weeks she has been watching all of the other kids in the pool and once she trusted me that I wasn't going to let her flounder, she was ready to go. I'm really proud but very exhausted. She wants to be in the water all the time. I guess I created a monster.
Next, I want to teach her the doggie paddle.
And I need some help. I am really tired of eating in restraunts. I want to cook. Does anyone have any meal ideas that I can put together on paper plates using a microwave? My waistline will thank you.
Friday, May 19, 2006
It's almost baby blue
Announcing the structure that is putting E and me in the ranks of the millions of Americans in debt: Our new house!!!
Financing in is the work and closing is scheduled for the 5th of June. Not only is it very charming on the outside, it seems that it was built for me on the inside. It's not the dream Victorian house that I want someday, but it is the perfect Florida cottage house that I love. It has a huge backyard complete with swingset that Dani loves. The owners even allowed the dog to come over and play in the backyard. They are really nice people. There seems to be some issues with the type of loan that we got, but everything should work out fine. It seems to be upsetting our realator more than anyone else.
We have been in the hotel for a little over a week now. Today was E's first day at work so Dani and I are stranded. I suppose if we had to be stranded on an island, it can't get much better than this. Dani says she wants to play at the pool. Again. For like, the 4th day in a row. She won't even get off the steps, but it's much better than when we first got here. She would only put her feet in then.
As for my "plan". As soon as E has us processed into the base and our medical records are delivered to where they need to be I am going to discuss/demand that my doctor prescribe Clomid for me again. So we are going to try to conceive again. Hopefully I can schedule something with the doctor soon because I expect my period to start anytime in the next 4 weeks. Hahahha.
Dani is doing OK. As mentioned she loves 'swimming'. She is slightly stressed and clingy but that's to be expected. She is really excited about our house and that she will start Kindergarten this fall. The school bus picks the kids up at the end of our soon-to-be-street. How suburbian is that?!
Well, she is begging me for sunblock so we can go outside.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Greetings from the state of Confusion... err... Florida
We have officially arrived. The past two weeks seem like a blur.... going by at approximately 70 mph on average. We had a great trip considering we had to drive across 2 countries. We spent 4 nights with E's dad who he hasn't seen since 1993 or so. It was only the 4th or 5th time that he has seen his dad since the age of 1. We found out that he and E's mom only knew each other for 3 days before they got married. There's a lot of story there evidently. During the drive getting there E and I realized that it was similar to meeting his birth father if he would have been adopted. E has really grown into an amazing man and father without his dad's influence so I can't really complain. It was nice meeting him and his wife and their son. It was odd playing with his brother's kids and realizing, 'Hey, I'm their uncle/aunt!!' I'm really glad that we went. It was like meeting old friends and there wasn't near as much drama as I thought there would be.
As for Florida, it seems to be muggier and hotter than I remember. By a stroke of luck, the temporary housing on our base was full so we are able to stay off base. We picked the Ramada Resort... on the island.... on the beach. Yeah, it's a good life. Our room is on the pool side on the 3rd floor. We have a big man- made waterfall out our balcony. Dani wants to go to the pool to put her feet in. That's it, just her feet. We went for a walk on the beach last night, found a dead jelly fish. The sand on the Emerald Coast is unrivaled; almost as white as snow. I forgot how beautiful it is here.
Lots of happenings in the adoption world it seems. I'm really happy for those of you are on first, between, and second trips. Congrats to Jen for finding out your region. That is exciting. Like Margaret I feel a twinge of jealousy for the people who are moving forward with their adoptions.
E keeps asking me, "What has your experience having or not having children taught you?" It always ticks me off a bit. I just want a family, which I do have and I'm very grateful, but I feel like there are 2 spots that are empty. I want them filled, and I want it done yesterday. That's the thing, I want what I want.... however, when you do that, all you get is wanting... nothing actually happens. I told him that I regretted giving up too soon, and I really think that I did in both cases. One miscarriage- gave up. One lost adoption- gave up. So, we have a new plan tentatively. We need to get settled in before we can put it into action but it feels good to have a plan. Better happen soon though because I ain't getting any younger. I don't do patience.
As for Florida, it seems to be muggier and hotter than I remember. By a stroke of luck, the temporary housing on our base was full so we are able to stay off base. We picked the Ramada Resort... on the island.... on the beach. Yeah, it's a good life. Our room is on the pool side on the 3rd floor. We have a big man- made waterfall out our balcony. Dani wants to go to the pool to put her feet in. That's it, just her feet. We went for a walk on the beach last night, found a dead jelly fish. The sand on the Emerald Coast is unrivaled; almost as white as snow. I forgot how beautiful it is here.
Lots of happenings in the adoption world it seems. I'm really happy for those of you are on first, between, and second trips. Congrats to Jen for finding out your region. That is exciting. Like Margaret I feel a twinge of jealousy for the people who are moving forward with their adoptions.
E keeps asking me, "What has your experience having or not having children taught you?" It always ticks me off a bit. I just want a family, which I do have and I'm very grateful, but I feel like there are 2 spots that are empty. I want them filled, and I want it done yesterday. That's the thing, I want what I want.... however, when you do that, all you get is wanting... nothing actually happens. I told him that I regretted giving up too soon, and I really think that I did in both cases. One miscarriage- gave up. One lost adoption- gave up. So, we have a new plan tentatively. We need to get settled in before we can put it into action but it feels good to have a plan. Better happen soon though because I ain't getting any younger. I don't do patience.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Check, Check, 1 - 2 - 3
Ok, we are in a part of Canada that believes in the internet. We are at the furthest point in British Columbia in a town called Dawson Creek. It is the beginning of the Alaska Highway, or for us, the end. It has been a long 3 days. Hopefully we can get to Calgary or close tomorrow because we want to take a day off from traveling to visit the Calgary Zoo. Dani will have a blast. She has been great on this trip. She is just having a little trouble with sharing the CD player in the van. We are trying to swap out one of her CDs with one of ours... you know, so that we don't have to listen to sing a long songs for the whole trip. It's working pretty good, but she doesn't like our music. Go figure.
I have one thing to say. Canada is beautiful but it is really nice to be in a town with more than 10 buildings. We stopped at Liard River Hotsprings last night and had a fantastic time soaking after our long days driving. We have seen some great wildlife. We even saw a BEAR last night. It was soooo cool!!! We've seen dozens of caribou in the higher mountains and dozen of deer in the lower forests. We've even seen a few mountain sheep on the highway. They are so cute. Well, E wants to use the computer and I have hogged for an hour now so I will let him have a turn. Thanks for still checking in with me!!
Congratulations Lisa and Derek!!! I'm so glad that you got to meet your Sweet Gherkin!!
I have one thing to say. Canada is beautiful but it is really nice to be in a town with more than 10 buildings. We stopped at Liard River Hotsprings last night and had a fantastic time soaking after our long days driving. We have seen some great wildlife. We even saw a BEAR last night. It was soooo cool!!! We've seen dozens of caribou in the higher mountains and dozen of deer in the lower forests. We've even seen a few mountain sheep on the highway. They are so cute. Well, E wants to use the computer and I have hogged for an hour now so I will let him have a turn. Thanks for still checking in with me!!
Congratulations Lisa and Derek!!! I'm so glad that you got to meet your Sweet Gherkin!!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The Eve of Destruction
Well, this is it. Well, tomorrow is it. The movers will be here at 9am to start tearing my house apart. Our cable and internet boxes will have to be turned in before the mad packers get ahold of them, so this will be my last post at home. We will still be up here for another 6 days cleaning and repainting. Next Wed. will be our first day of travel. I don't know how often I will get to check in. We aren't planning on being in FL until the middle of May.... so I may not have any friends left.... but I'll check in as often as I can!!! I promise!!! I'm not needy or possessive at all... honest... You all will still love me anyway right!!! right?
Lisa I am so excited for you and D and your trip. I hope everything goes amazing for you. I also hope that the rest of the Russian Posse gets past many hurdles in the next few weeks and will all be on their way to the other side of world SOON!!!
We are looking forward to our trip. By the 29th we hope to be in Calgary and stop early for the day to spend at the zoo. I think it will be a nice break after 3 1/2 days in the van. After that our next big stop will be Michigan where I will meet E's dad, step-mother, and extended family. E has not seen his dad since '92 and they just started talking last fall... so we are in the beginnings of new relationships. By the time we end our visit in Michigan we will only be a few days from Ft. Walton Beach.
I am trying to get the courage to ask my mother NOT to meet us in Michigan to drive the rest of the way with us. Help!
So, everyone, here I will 'pause' until I can stop by again. I can't wait to let you all know how our 4000 mile trek across the continent went. Have a great spring everyone!!!
Lisa I am so excited for you and D and your trip. I hope everything goes amazing for you. I also hope that the rest of the Russian Posse gets past many hurdles in the next few weeks and will all be on their way to the other side of world SOON!!!
We are looking forward to our trip. By the 29th we hope to be in Calgary and stop early for the day to spend at the zoo. I think it will be a nice break after 3 1/2 days in the van. After that our next big stop will be Michigan where I will meet E's dad, step-mother, and extended family. E has not seen his dad since '92 and they just started talking last fall... so we are in the beginnings of new relationships. By the time we end our visit in Michigan we will only be a few days from Ft. Walton Beach.
I am trying to get the courage to ask my mother NOT to meet us in Michigan to drive the rest of the way with us. Help!
So, everyone, here I will 'pause' until I can stop by again. I can't wait to let you all know how our 4000 mile trek across the continent went. Have a great spring everyone!!!
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Happy Easter.... I think
What a quiet week in the blogging world…. I mean really quiet. I think everyone has a case of blogger’s block. I know I do. I can only write about how frustrating moving is so many times before it starts to drive me crazy.
I haven’t really had any interesting thoughts this week. I have wondered about something though. I hope I don’t offend anyone, but I will be the first to admit that I am ignorant in the realm of religion. What is the significance of Easter? Is the main point that it is the commemoration of the rising of Christ?
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness so everything that I remember about holydays as I grew up was the isolating feeling that I didn’t belong anywhere because I couldn’t participate with the festivities. No Valentine’s exchanges, no egg hunt, no trick-or-treating, or birthdays. I think I was about 9 when I realized that we had a long break from school during the winter because it was Christmas. Other children in my class would ask me what I got for Christmas and I had no idea what they were talking about. I think once I actually asked, “Santa who?”
This upbringing has made celebrating holidays very stressful for me. I like holidays because of the fellowship shared between friends and family, but I don’t understand the symbolism of the holidays, specifically religious holidays. I think that I would have been fine as an adult, not celebrating holidays, but now that I am a parent I don’t want to isolate Dani. I don’t want her to feel like she doesn’t belong anywhere. I hated that feeling. At the same time, I don’t want to overcompensate. I want her to at least have the choice of what she wants to celebrate. Maybe that’s what I miss the most about my childhood…. I didn’t have a choice.
Religion is such a huge responsibility for a parent. There is a lot of pressure to make the right choice in your religion so that your children will grow up with faith. I don’t want to be a hypocrite but I don’t want to leave Dani without any foundation at all. It’s very conflicting and confusing.
So, Happy Easter everyone, or Spring, or Passover.
I haven’t really had any interesting thoughts this week. I have wondered about something though. I hope I don’t offend anyone, but I will be the first to admit that I am ignorant in the realm of religion. What is the significance of Easter? Is the main point that it is the commemoration of the rising of Christ?
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness so everything that I remember about holydays as I grew up was the isolating feeling that I didn’t belong anywhere because I couldn’t participate with the festivities. No Valentine’s exchanges, no egg hunt, no trick-or-treating, or birthdays. I think I was about 9 when I realized that we had a long break from school during the winter because it was Christmas. Other children in my class would ask me what I got for Christmas and I had no idea what they were talking about. I think once I actually asked, “Santa who?”
This upbringing has made celebrating holidays very stressful for me. I like holidays because of the fellowship shared between friends and family, but I don’t understand the symbolism of the holidays, specifically religious holidays. I think that I would have been fine as an adult, not celebrating holidays, but now that I am a parent I don’t want to isolate Dani. I don’t want her to feel like she doesn’t belong anywhere. I hated that feeling. At the same time, I don’t want to overcompensate. I want her to at least have the choice of what she wants to celebrate. Maybe that’s what I miss the most about my childhood…. I didn’t have a choice.
Religion is such a huge responsibility for a parent. There is a lot of pressure to make the right choice in your religion so that your children will grow up with faith. I don’t want to be a hypocrite but I don’t want to leave Dani without any foundation at all. It’s very conflicting and confusing.
So, Happy Easter everyone, or Spring, or Passover.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Question to the Masses
I'm trying to put my new profile picture on my blog, but I can't figure out how to do it. Do I need to put a tag in the template? If so, where?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Confession
I have a secret…. Have I told you? I’m slightly neurotic and maybe a little OCD.
I have been burning all the candles that I can in the past couple of weeks trying to use them up because the movers will not pack burnt candles and I can’t stand to throw away a perfectly good half-used candle. I am currently burning a Sugar Cookie candle which I’m not too fond of. It is so sweet smelling that it bothers my throat a little and it makes me hungry. Next on the list are Fields of Grass and Pomegranate.
I have already started putting signs on things that we will not take with us to Florida that read ‘Do Not Inventory/Pack’. I guess just in case we forget.
Oh, and that handy dandy moving folder? I should have gotten a file cabinet. As of now it contains E’s out processing paperwork, the dog’s vaccinations, birth certificates, marriage certificate (an apostilled version at that… what else am I going to use it for), our passports (again, I may as well use them), wills, and E’s VA certificate. Still to be added are documents for our van, several copies of E’s orders, the dog’s medical certificate, and a plethora of other oddities. This reminds me, I need to get the dog to the vet. Like Jen, I need to make lists for everything so that I don’t forget something important.
Here’s a story, once a very, very long time ago, newly married to my ex, I had to go to our nearest military installation to get my dependent military ID issued. He was currently at basic training in Texas and I was in Pennsylvania. He had sent me the form I needed and I rallied a friend of mine to drive down to Carlisle, PA from our town of Mansfield, PA. It was about a 5 hour drive if I remember correctly. Anyway, we get to the post, find the personnel center, and sign in to get my picture taken. They just needed my dependent form…. Um… yeah…. The one I left at home, 5 hours away. The person in the office called the base my husband was at and he got pulled out of whatever training they were doing. He was told there was a situation with his wife, that scared the poop out of him. Muahahhaha. They did a new form and faxed to where I was and I got my card. But I was really irritated at myself for being so stupid. My ex didn’t let me forget it either, but that’s a story for another day.
So, I may be a little neurotic, but I’m programmed that way.
I have been burning all the candles that I can in the past couple of weeks trying to use them up because the movers will not pack burnt candles and I can’t stand to throw away a perfectly good half-used candle. I am currently burning a Sugar Cookie candle which I’m not too fond of. It is so sweet smelling that it bothers my throat a little and it makes me hungry. Next on the list are Fields of Grass and Pomegranate.
I have already started putting signs on things that we will not take with us to Florida that read ‘Do Not Inventory/Pack’. I guess just in case we forget.
Oh, and that handy dandy moving folder? I should have gotten a file cabinet. As of now it contains E’s out processing paperwork, the dog’s vaccinations, birth certificates, marriage certificate (an apostilled version at that… what else am I going to use it for), our passports (again, I may as well use them), wills, and E’s VA certificate. Still to be added are documents for our van, several copies of E’s orders, the dog’s medical certificate, and a plethora of other oddities. This reminds me, I need to get the dog to the vet. Like Jen, I need to make lists for everything so that I don’t forget something important.
Here’s a story, once a very, very long time ago, newly married to my ex, I had to go to our nearest military installation to get my dependent military ID issued. He was currently at basic training in Texas and I was in Pennsylvania. He had sent me the form I needed and I rallied a friend of mine to drive down to Carlisle, PA from our town of Mansfield, PA. It was about a 5 hour drive if I remember correctly. Anyway, we get to the post, find the personnel center, and sign in to get my picture taken. They just needed my dependent form…. Um… yeah…. The one I left at home, 5 hours away. The person in the office called the base my husband was at and he got pulled out of whatever training they were doing. He was told there was a situation with his wife, that scared the poop out of him. Muahahhaha. They did a new form and faxed to where I was and I got my card. But I was really irritated at myself for being so stupid. My ex didn’t let me forget it either, but that’s a story for another day.
So, I may be a little neurotic, but I’m programmed that way.
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