Thursday, May 11, 2006

Greetings from the state of Confusion... err... Florida

We have officially arrived. The past two weeks seem like a blur.... going by at approximately 70 mph on average. We had a great trip considering we had to drive across 2 countries. We spent 4 nights with E's dad who he hasn't seen since 1993 or so. It was only the 4th or 5th time that he has seen his dad since the age of 1. We found out that he and E's mom only knew each other for 3 days before they got married. There's a lot of story there evidently. During the drive getting there E and I realized that it was similar to meeting his birth father if he would have been adopted. E has really grown into an amazing man and father without his dad's influence so I can't really complain. It was nice meeting him and his wife and their son. It was odd playing with his brother's kids and realizing, 'Hey, I'm their uncle/aunt!!' I'm really glad that we went. It was like meeting old friends and there wasn't near as much drama as I thought there would be.

As for Florida, it seems to be muggier and hotter than I remember. By a stroke of luck, the temporary housing on our base was full so we are able to stay off base. We picked the Ramada Resort... on the island.... on the beach. Yeah, it's a good life. Our room is on the pool side on the 3rd floor. We have a big man- made waterfall out our balcony. Dani wants to go to the pool to put her feet in. That's it, just her feet. We went for a walk on the beach last night, found a dead jelly fish. The sand on the Emerald Coast is unrivaled; almost as white as snow. I forgot how beautiful it is here.

Lots of happenings in the adoption world it seems. I'm really happy for those of you are on first, between, and second trips. Congrats to Jen for finding out your region. That is exciting. Like Margaret I feel a twinge of jealousy for the people who are moving forward with their adoptions.

E keeps asking me, "What has your experience having or not having children taught you?" It always ticks me off a bit. I just want a family, which I do have and I'm very grateful, but I feel like there are 2 spots that are empty. I want them filled, and I want it done yesterday. That's the thing, I want what I want.... however, when you do that, all you get is wanting... nothing actually happens. I told him that I regretted giving up too soon, and I really think that I did in both cases. One miscarriage- gave up. One lost adoption- gave up. So, we have a new plan tentatively. We need to get settled in before we can put it into action but it feels good to have a plan. Better happen soon though because I ain't getting any younger. I don't do patience.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the East coast- glad you made it safely.

I can very much relate to this post. I posted something similar yesterday. I just feel like even the people who I thought had it worse than me (in terms of infertility) have now resolved their IF problems while I'm still trying to figure out how to have a 2nd kid. And I feel like I wasted the last 4 years on IF treatment when I should have just started the adoption road. No, adoption is not easy, but I'd likely have been done by now. I want this IF crap over with- yesterday.
Enjoy the Ramada- sounds like fun after your hectic travels.

Maggie said...

I'm glad you're there safe and sound. I've been thinking about you and your long trip.

Sounds like you and I are both in plan-formulating modes. I can't wait to hear what you're thinking of.

Jennefer said...

So, you are kicking back at the Ramada in Florida? Cool- like an extended vacation. I think if I lived in Florida life would be a permanent vacation. I am very jealous. It must be quite a change from Alaska. However, I am sure you are looking forward to getting settled.

I am excited to hear about your plan. If you have more spots in your heart for children you should definitely fill them.

Elle said...

Happy you made it! Sounds like you had an adveturous trip. Have fun in the sun!

A Room to Grow said...

glad to hear that you made it to florida safely and sounds like it was a real journey... looking forward to hearing more about your plan. but in the meantime - enjoy the hotel & beach life!