Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Moving with the military is FUN!!

I have been putting off telling you all about our trip from Alaska to Canada cuz you know, I’ve been so busy…. sitting by the pool, tanning, and eating at every fabulous restaurant in town. Let me say first off, thank you all so much for your words of encouragement regarding my Mom. It really meant a lot to me and it solidified my position on how important stability is. Thank You.
Now, onto our first day of travel. E had his out processing appointment at 10 am. Now, when military members leave one base for another, they are given a checklist of all the places that they need to clear to get taken out of their systems. No problem….unless there are offices not on the list. Like dental, immunizations, immunizations for your dependents. So, E goes to his appt.

No dental records.

So we drive to the clinic to get his records. He was so ticked, he just dropped his stuff on the floor and came out. He didn’t bring a copy of his orders. Thankfully, they gave him what he needed anyway.

We go back with his dental records.

No immunization clearance.

So, we go back to the clinic to get his records.

While he is in there, he gets a copy of Dani’s records because ‘we need them for the border’. He can’t get mine because he doesn’t have a release form.

So, I go in and get my records.

We go back with our records in hand, and E finally gets all his documents sealed.

It is currently 12:00. An appointment that should have taken 30 minutes TOPS took two hours because their ‘checklist’ has not been updated.

So, we finally leave the base and are 2 hours behind. We hoped to get to Whitehorse by the evening but got to Haines Junction instead which was about 4 hours east of Whitehorse. But we made it out of Alaska and into Canada.

I don’t think that anything spectacular happened on that first day. We were just really glad to be on the road. Oh, and they never asked to see our shot records.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I love my mom... I really do

My shakable faith is not only grounded in spirituality. My childhood had a lot to do with my faith. Looking back, and being a parent, I realize how important it is to a child to be able to depend on their parents. My parents divorced when I was 13. My mother worked long hours and subsequently developed Epstein Bar Syndrome which ultimately led to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. So, for my teen years, she slept and my dad was kind of estranged.

I quickly learned that if I needed my mom for something she would either forget what I needed, or else she would give me access to what I needed; i.e. her ATM card, a signed check, the grocery list, keys to the car. To a normal teenager it would seem like the ultimate freedom. To me it was very lonely. There were several milestones during my teen years that I didn’t feel I could share with my mother. Cheerleading competitions, dances, buying a prom dress (which I didn’t nor did I attend the prom), my boyfriend, sex, homework… things that now I wish I had been more persistent instead of letting her rest. Add in managing my siblings and I felt more isolated. So, over time, I learned not to rely on my mother, because even though physically she was there, she really wasn’t.

I can deal with that, it’s the past, I’m a responsible parent, and I am available to Dani. I’m very proud of that. But now, and this makes me angry, Dani is going to learn soon that she can’t rely on Grandma. Last week, my mother told me that they missed us too much and they had to come up to visit, just for a night. They would be here on Wed. (today). Since I don’t rely on my mother, I didn’t tell Dani. I did not want her to look forward to Grandma coming, and it not happen (she was devastated last year when Grandma and Grandpa did not make for her birthday as promised). There have been so many things that we have told her would happen and they didn’t, like welcoming a sister. I didn’t want to add one more disappointment. Besides, I figured I would tell Dani today that they would be here and it would be a huge surprise.

I called my mom this morning to ask what their plans were and, hold the revolution of the Earth, they are not coming today. But she was going to call so that we weren’t waiting until the last minute. Maybe she forgot that today was Wed. because I feel that the last minute would have been last night, not a few hours before we expected them to arrive. I’m glad I called and that I didn’t tell Dani they were coming. I’m also glad that we didn’t reserve them a room because we know how responsible my mom is with money and waiting until the last minute.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I'm a big tease

Dani in the pool? Nay you say? Ha! I say. She is offically a water baby. I conquered her fear by teasing her into thinking I would let her hold onto the railing on the steps. I let her get close then pulled her back and said, "No, you can't grab that railing!" Which is a game that we play daily, "No, you can't brush your teeth; get dressed; eat that sandwich; or anything else that I want you to do." Reverse psychology? Yeah, I'm a pro.

Now she jumps in, will wear floaties, and we even held hands and swam to the rope that designates the deep end. I can't believe how much she did so quickly. I think for the past couple of weeks she has been watching all of the other kids in the pool and once she trusted me that I wasn't going to let her flounder, she was ready to go. I'm really proud but very exhausted. She wants to be in the water all the time. I guess I created a monster.

Next, I want to teach her the doggie paddle.

And I need some help. I am really tired of eating in restraunts. I want to cook. Does anyone have any meal ideas that I can put together on paper plates using a microwave? My waistline will thank you.

Friday, May 19, 2006

It's almost baby blue

Announcing the structure that is putting E and me in the ranks of the millions of Americans in debt: Our new house!!!

Financing in is the work and closing is scheduled for the 5th of June. Not only is it very charming on the outside, it seems that it was built for me on the inside. It's not the dream Victorian house that I want someday, but it is the perfect Florida cottage house that I love. It has a huge backyard complete with swingset that Dani loves. The owners even allowed the dog to come over and play in the backyard. They are really nice people. There seems to be some issues with the type of loan that we got, but everything should work out fine. It seems to be upsetting our realator more than anyone else.

We have been in the hotel for a little over a week now. Today was E's first day at work so Dani and I are stranded. I suppose if we had to be stranded on an island, it can't get much better than this. Dani says she wants to play at the pool. Again. For like, the 4th day in a row. She won't even get off the steps, but it's much better than when we first got here. She would only put her feet in then.

As for my "plan". As soon as E has us processed into the base and our medical records are delivered to where they need to be I am going to discuss/demand that my doctor prescribe Clomid for me again. So we are going to try to conceive again. Hopefully I can schedule something with the doctor soon because I expect my period to start anytime in the next 4 weeks. Hahahha.

Dani is doing OK. As mentioned she loves 'swimming'. She is slightly stressed and clingy but that's to be expected. She is really excited about our house and that she will start Kindergarten this fall. The school bus picks the kids up at the end of our soon-to-be-street. How suburbian is that?!

Well, she is begging me for sunblock so we can go outside.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Greetings from the state of Confusion... err... Florida

We have officially arrived. The past two weeks seem like a blur.... going by at approximately 70 mph on average. We had a great trip considering we had to drive across 2 countries. We spent 4 nights with E's dad who he hasn't seen since 1993 or so. It was only the 4th or 5th time that he has seen his dad since the age of 1. We found out that he and E's mom only knew each other for 3 days before they got married. There's a lot of story there evidently. During the drive getting there E and I realized that it was similar to meeting his birth father if he would have been adopted. E has really grown into an amazing man and father without his dad's influence so I can't really complain. It was nice meeting him and his wife and their son. It was odd playing with his brother's kids and realizing, 'Hey, I'm their uncle/aunt!!' I'm really glad that we went. It was like meeting old friends and there wasn't near as much drama as I thought there would be.

As for Florida, it seems to be muggier and hotter than I remember. By a stroke of luck, the temporary housing on our base was full so we are able to stay off base. We picked the Ramada Resort... on the island.... on the beach. Yeah, it's a good life. Our room is on the pool side on the 3rd floor. We have a big man- made waterfall out our balcony. Dani wants to go to the pool to put her feet in. That's it, just her feet. We went for a walk on the beach last night, found a dead jelly fish. The sand on the Emerald Coast is unrivaled; almost as white as snow. I forgot how beautiful it is here.

Lots of happenings in the adoption world it seems. I'm really happy for those of you are on first, between, and second trips. Congrats to Jen for finding out your region. That is exciting. Like Margaret I feel a twinge of jealousy for the people who are moving forward with their adoptions.

E keeps asking me, "What has your experience having or not having children taught you?" It always ticks me off a bit. I just want a family, which I do have and I'm very grateful, but I feel like there are 2 spots that are empty. I want them filled, and I want it done yesterday. That's the thing, I want what I want.... however, when you do that, all you get is wanting... nothing actually happens. I told him that I regretted giving up too soon, and I really think that I did in both cases. One miscarriage- gave up. One lost adoption- gave up. So, we have a new plan tentatively. We need to get settled in before we can put it into action but it feels good to have a plan. Better happen soon though because I ain't getting any younger. I don't do patience.