Labor that is. We thought last night was the night. I'd been having consistent contractions since 4pm, they were increasing in duration and intensity. So I walked for a little while to keep them coming. When we got to the hosp. the Squirt's heartrate was in a dangerous range of 180-200. I was dehydrated. As soon as the 3rd IV stick worked and I got fluids, his heartrate went down to a comfortable range in the 150's.

The Dr. on call said bedrest means bedrest. And I need to be drinking all day. Which Iusually do, but the nurse suggested an increase of about 60 oz. in addition to my already 100 oz. intake. We were disappointed on our way home. Now having woken up for the day and processing what happened it has occurred to me that I really put the Squirt in danger by being so anxious. And I feel really bad.

The Word of the Day is... Preeclampsia

My urine came back yesterday as preeclamptic. My BP's were also high again. The Dr. put me on bedrest, instructed me to make another appt. for an NST for Monday. Watch for signs of rapid onset swelling, and headaches. I've been having contractions since yesterday but not regular by any means. If I get through the weekend, we'll see how the NST goes on Monday and induction is heretofore a topic of discussion.

I'm tired. E is freaking out. I'm bored laying in bed and it has been only 12 hours. It's also a little difficult to reach my laptop keyboard to type. So, I'll let it go for now.

Get your freak on

I had a Dr. appt. yesterday at 9:40. I got seen at 10:20. My blood pressure was high. Truthfully it has been borderline this entire pregnancy. I'm still having spikes in my blood sugar. The Dr. was looking at my history and decided to send me to the lab for some blood work, order a 24 hours urine analysis, and send me to L&D for a Stress Test.

The Squirt really had everyone going. Everytime they placed the heartrate monitor on him and left the room, he would move. So they had to restart the test several times. I was having contractions while strapped up too. I think I had 4 while I was there. He maintained activity and heartrate through the contractions so things looked fine. I didn't get a vag. check which I'm OK with. I hate those things. After they were done with their tests I waited for 40 minutes before they came back in and told me I could go home. I made it home 10 minutes before the bus dropped off Dani. Sure, I wasn't stressed at the hospital, but making that 45 minute drive home trying to beat the bus did stress me out.

Sitting there feeling and watching the contractions come on was kind of driving home the idea that we will have a baby sometime soon. Very soon. Based on the urine analysis they will decide whether they want to induce me early or not. It was like deja vu. I remember having the same issues (except diabetes) with Dani at exactly this point in my pregnancy . I had the blood pressure, stress test, analysis (which didn't warrant any concern), and was told the same information. I went into labor with her at 37w2d. That is this Sunday with the Squirt. SUNDAY!!!

Am I ready? Well that depends on your definition of ready. Do I have the stuff that I need? I think so. Do I actually feel ready? No. With Dani we went to hospital that night just as a precautionary measure. Little did I know that I was actually in labor. We just went with the flow. Now, I know that my body is going through the same changes and processes and it makes me very aware that the same thing could happen. I love planning and scheduling, but I also know that he may not come this weekend.

I know that he is strong enough to. I know that he is in position to. I know my history suggests that he is ready. But I'm a little freaked out.

Ok, make that ALOT freaked out.

Story Time

I'm sitting here at 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant, trying not to contract, and reflecting on this pregnancy. Currently, I am hungry, which makes me think about my blood sugar which is turning out to be the bane of my existance. It is getting more difficult to maintain the requirements set by my doctor. The morning fasting number is the most frustrating. It is supposed to be less than 90. However, I have only accomplished this twice. It doesn't matter what I do the night before. Have a no carb snack, no snack, or my regular snack, my number is still above 90. I've even tried..... *ahem*.... 'exercising' before going to bed and that didn't help either.

The worst side effect of gest. diabetes has been how it has effected my sleep. Last night I drempt that I was throwing caution to the wind so E, Dani, another little girl, and myself were going to Olive Garden for dinner. I was going to get a big plate of pasta and a tiramisu. When we got to the OG, it was closed. Like not the OG anymore. Instead it was some sort of medical clinic that didn't advertise exactly what they did there. Well, I was pissed. And crying. And I had to pee, so I went in to use their restroom. Only, they wouldn't let me leave. It was some sort of weird medical commune.

We tried to escape several times but their security kept getting tighter and tighter. Not too mention that, although it was Florida, the parking lot was 3 feet deep of packed and rutted snow. By the end of the dream, we had been placed in an apartment within the confines of the commune, and members of the staff were posted outside our house with shotguns in case we tried to leave. They even made us open all of our windows slightly so that they could hear us in case we tried to make an escape plan.

I even tried calling the police on my cell to tell them that we were being held hostage by these weird doctors and the police were saying that they couldn't intervene unless there were shots fired. And my cell phone battery was dying, and I didn't have the charger. Of course, I couldn't use the house phone because it was bugged.

All that for a tiramisu. That I never got. I woke up starving.

Overheard

This exchange was overheard the other day when Dani (whose ALL imagintive play revolves around her being pregant at least twice in a 5 minute time frame) and a friend were playing.

Dani: My water just broke.

Little Girl: That's OK. I'm a plumber!

How's this for Southern Comfort?

Let's discuss comfort. I don't know what that is anymore. Currently, I think my uterus is over my ribs. Sometimes when I bend the wrong way I feel like my ribs are going to pierce my uterus. For several weeks I have felt like I have a bruised rib because the Squirt pushes constantly on one spot. The only relief I have is when I lay down. And I can't lay down all the time. I have stuff to do. And a 7 year old to entertain. Plus last night, it felt like whatever side I was laying on pushed my ribs to overlap the other side of my chest. I feel like my skin is the only thing keeping my body together.

Comfort food. None. The doc slightly reprimanded me for a few spikes in my blood sugar at my last appt. I would love to have some ice cream. I really don't think that 2 or three spikes is bad for 2 weeks of good readings. Especially when I know exactly what caused them.

Baby shower. Makes me uncomfortable. I don't generally like having a fuss over me. My friends are all so excited though, and they really want to celebrate with me. For that I am indulging them. Plus, I really didn't want to spend all the money myself buying everything, but I was prepared to. Baby showers have always been so painful. I could probably count on one hand the number that I have attended. And I hate shower games. On the upside, I love visiting with my friends. Talking, laughing, eating (screw blood sugar that day), crying. I have been so lucky to have such good friends here.

Clean comfort. I don't have the energy to clean the whole house in one day. So, I take a couple of days to clean the house. By the second day, the first day's stuff is all messed up. And someone who takes wood ash out of the fireplace and sprinkles it around the house like fairy dust the day after I have vaccuumed and mopped doesn't help. I'm looking at you Dani.

Cool comfort. I know that Florida gets hot. I know I feel it more because I am pregnant. But Gawd it is HOT. I can't go outside to weed my flower beds, like I could bend over to get there anyway. I can't sit out on my front patio that E made for me because it is too hot. I can't go for walks, again to the chagrin of my doctor. Even the swimming pools and the Gulf are too hot.

On top of it all. I'm having a baby. Sometime in the next 3 to 6 weeks. I look at Dani's baby pictures and wonder what she would look like as a boy. I remember her snuggling with me, and sleeping on me. Smiling, and babbling. And then I start crying because I have loved every minute with her. Even though she drives me insane she does it in the most creative ways. Then my nose gets stuffed up and I can't breathe and I start gagging because I can't blow my nose because I can't catch my breath. Then I throw up because I'm gagging. And let me tell you, throwing up in front of the toilet in the last trimester of pregnancy, retching and peeing at the same time, is the most uncomfortable of all.

I'm so lucky.

When the Paint Dried....

I was left with this.

The first four are a 360 degree view of the room starting from the doorway. The fabric from the curtain was my inspiration for the theme. I copied the animals from the fabric and painted them on the wall, then I painted a grass border all the way around the room except behind the dresser. I still want to paint that shelf on the wall a dark brown. It's on my list. I also made the changing pad on the dresser and the pads on the rocking chair. The crap on the shelves is not staying.... I just need to find new places for it.

That lamp isn't staying either... but you know, finding new homes for things.
Hospital bag waiting to be packed. Currently the only things I have to put in it are a new toothbrush and a package of Kotex.

This is my first ever quilt. It's kind of gimpy, the squares aren't perfect, the actual quilting is bunched up a little bit, but I love it. The yellow gingham is actually Dani's old bedroom curtains repurposed. I hand quilted little stars and hearts in the blue squares. I really like how it turned out.

Stuff

I don't know what to write. Things are progressing. Things are good. I got the Squirt's bedroom painted and OMG I love it. I got the curtain done, and the quilt. Next I need to make cushions for my rocking chair. We also bought a dresser this weekend. A friend gave me ALOT of clothes, so I don't really need to go shopping for that stuff.

I keep forgetting that there are other things happening this summer besides having a baby. Dani's birthday is in 2 days. (By the way, her attitude greatly improves when she is grounded from talking to me. She is only allowed to communicate in notes and she hates it. But it works. She only lasts about an hour, but it is a peaceful hour.) I haven't gotten her any gifts yet, we had a combined birthday party with cake and ice cream this past weekend so we are off the hook for a party. However, I feel guilty that we won't be having a party but honestly, the way that she has been so aggravating and ungrateful, I don't think she deserves it. School is going to start before the baby comes so I have to do back to school shopping for her.

Mine and E's anniversary is the end of August. Then we only have a couple more weeks to wait for the Squirt.

Speaking of which, when I go into labor, I have 45 minute drive to the Navy hospital where my doctors are. If I go into labor during the work week, E will have to get home first to drive me adding another 30 minutes before we can even leave the house. That means, I may be in labor for over an hour before I even get to the hospital. And if they tell me that it is false labor and send me home, well I just might die.

Screw Calgon, give me a drink

Things are quiet around here regarding everything for baby. I'm at a standstill for finishing the Roman shade for the Squirt's room and I'm nervous about starting a quilt because I don't want to mess it up. I still haven't started buying clothes or anything else for that matter. But we did bring the crib down from the attic and OH MY GAWD, there is a baby crib in my house.

However, the front between Dani and I is tumultuous. Maybe it's summer boredom, maybe it's hormones, maybe she's trying to force me into early labor. Either way, I am losing it with her. I have signed her up for a summer gymnastics program, a summer reading program at the library, I'm trying to get her to do Girl Scout stuff with me so that we can spend time together and to help her keep busy. She doesn't want to fingerpaint, color, craft, cook, shop... nothing except watch TV. And I seem to get punished with everything that I suggest that we do together. Yesterday for example, she spit gum in my purse and somehow set off the alarm on my vehicle. Not too mention canceling her 'Mom's Love Band' that she was forming because evidently she doesn't love me anymore and I make her "want to poke her eye out with a pencil". Yeah, yesterday was not a good day.

In fact, I felt really guilty about it, but I emailed E at work and told him I was looking forward to having a child who could not talk.

So aside from my daughter hating me, and not liking anything that I do, coupled with my development of gestational diabetes I'm doing just great.

Sunrise ~ Sunset

For the past couple of weeks I've been making mental notes about the differences in this pregnancy and Dani's. Granted, it's been seven years since I was pregnant with Dani, but there are quite a few things that stand out to me. It wasn't until I was talking on the phone with a friend who had a baby last month that some of these differences must be attributed to age. My friend had her first at 24, and has just had her third at 29. She said that being pregnant this time was a lot harder on her.

And then I thought about me. I was 24 when I was pregnant with Dani. And it was great. I felt awesome, looked awesome, excercised, and had energy.

This time.... well, things are different. There is always the foreboding that something will happen and we will lose the Squirt. But then there is fatigue. At 26 1/2 weeks, I still need to take a nap at least 3 days a week. I pee when I cough or sneeze. If I accidently turn onto my back while sleeping; I get stuck. My lower abdomen is tender; I attribute this to uterine growth. I have leg cramps now. I'm always hungry. The weight I've currently gained is only 6 pounds less than I had with Dani at 36 weeks. My feet always feel swollen and tight, though they don't appear to be. For the life of me I cannot remember to take my prenatals.

Am I complaining? I don't think so. I'm just noting the differences. I would go through a lot to make sure that the Squirt comes home safe and sound. I'm too grateful to complain.

Dork

Only my husband can lay in bed at night while reading ahead for his Philosophy class and laugh at the arguments in the text.

Back to Routine

I'm feeling better having my house back.

Dani is done with school. She is on her way to 2nd grade!!!

We painted the Squirt's bedroom and I'm going to start getting fabric to do my accents in the room. I also plan on taking some of the animals from the fabric I get and painting them on the walls to help break up the monotany. I love murals.

I cautiously started shopping. Nothing too extravagant, but I also met up with a friend of mine from class and she gave me a swing, bouncer, pack-n-play, carseat, stroller, and jumper/activity thing. All for $100. I was so excited.

Have you noticed the reuseable canvas bags that grocery stores are selling at the checkout counters? You know the environmentally friendly ones for like a buck? Well, I had intended on making myself some and then I found some for .70 a piece. I can't make them for less than that. So I got about a dozen and a half. I love them. They are much more sturdy than store issue plastic and easier to carry than paper bags. I use them almost all of the time. I keep them tucked in between the console and my seat in the front so that I remember them.

And Flicka, yes, I would like the quilt instructions that you mentioned a few posts ago. If you have time that is. I know you are getting ready to go out of country.

Gah, I've wasted enough time on the computer today. I need to get cleaning.... something.

Dear Mom

1. You weigh 200 pounds. Walking down the street in MY neighborhood with your shirt rolled up and tucked under like a White Trash Redneck is not appropriate.

2. You weigh 200 pounds. A magical diet is not going to make you lose weight. You have to work for it. And that means walking faster than a turtle.

3. If you get embarassed when Dani leaves your bedroom door open while you are napping and you are naked, don't sleep naked at other people's houses.

4. Stop making comments that its OK if E is in our bedroom after his shower naked and we all see him.

5. Don't bring your own food to my house. I can buy our food. I don't like the things that you bring and it makes no sense to bring containers of your own drinks. That is why I ask what you want to eat when you plan your trip so that I can have it here. And I'm sorry, but the food that you bring/make is disgusting. Even if you are not the one that cooks it.

6. Don't come and visit me if you are going to sleep all night and all day waking up only to eat, pee, flatulate in my house and make a joke of it, and talk on the phone all day long to my sisters who can't get their lives straight.

7. Stop bailing out said sisters' when they have problems. You don't like it that Sister 2 goes out drinking? Stop paying her rent and bills so that she has to pay them, and then she won't have the money to go out.

8. Stop making plans to take Sister 2's kids so that she will move to FL. Sure, she sucks as a mom, but so do you. And you can't stay awake long enough to take care of children.

9. Stop buying dogs.

10. Sure, E and I may discipline Dani a little harshly at times, or not address her the way that you deem appropriate, but she is well behaved and respectful. And she loves us.

11. Don't give me real estate advice. I've learned how to do everything in my life the way that I do because of the way that you have fucked up everything that you do. You cannot expect to keep refinancing your mortgage and ever pay it off.

12. Stop buying vacation packages. (especially when you 'accidently' use someone elses bank card)

13. Don't walk around my house in a towel after your shower. Especially when my husband is home.

14. Don't touch my stomach.

15. Don't give Sister 1 relationship advice on how to make J love her. You know you would be the first one to cheer when they finally split up for good.

16. And when you are talking to her on the phone, don't compare your marriage with my Dad to her marriage. They are nothing alike and you were the problem in that relationship. Not Dad. He loved you.

17. My name is not Preggo.

18. Don't walk around in my house wearing shorts and a sports bra especially when my husband is home. Just because it is a sports bra does not mean that is doesn't require a shirt.

19. Don't buy 'crab bait' and 'fish bait' and store it in my freezer until the next time you visit. I don't have the room and that is gross.

20. If I accidently leave something private on my computer screen don't look through it. My friends on MySpace do not need you trolling around and snooping in their lives.

21. Don't lay down with Dani to 'help' her get to sleep. She has been going to sleep on her own since she was 3 months old.

22. Don't EVER get my family a pet.

23. I am not adding a room onto my house as a 'mother-in-law' room. Nor am I selling my house to gain an extra room so that there is room for you to visit. We bought a small house on purpose. And you have a magical timeshare to use and there are condos on the beach 6 miles away.

24. Keeping bottles that had water, soda, or juice in them at purchase should be thrown away. Not refilled with whatever you want to refill them with. Get a real cup or bottle that can be refilled.

25. If you really did eat as well as you say you do, you would not weigh 200 pounds.

26. Blowing your nose at the table is disgusting.

27. We all know that your marriage is not that great. You are constantly sneaking money away to help the girls with their problems and not understanding why S gets so upset.

28. Your religion is cooky. I try to be understanding, I try to let it go, I try to be accepting. But it's just cooky.

29. You are not a psychiatrist, doctor, counselor, financial adviser, or pharmacist. Stop giving people advice like you are any of those things.

30. Brother doesn't talk to you because he doesn't like you. He's not up to anything that wouldn't approve of... unless you don't want him to go to school, support himself, or have a close network of friends.

Well, that would be a nice start.

Must be love

Conversation between me and E.

Me: (Looking into the mirror with a scowled brow) The waistline on this shirt makes my tits look huge.

E: (With a sly smirk) No it doesn't.

Me: (With slightly improving self esteem and adoration) Really?

E: Your tits are already huge.

Me: (Eye roll)

Three Words

Doggy Diaper Rash

That is the current affliction of our dog caused by Urine Burn. Which explains why she has been whining so much more lately. I felt so bad for her that I almost cried. The tech shaved her as close as she could and her skin is red and sore in close to a square foot area. They put silver sulfate on her, the same that we got when Dani had a burn last summer, and they said to use Desitin until this clears up. Well, I already have some diaper rash ointment so I will use that.

This all started after her surgery when she would not wake up to go potty. There were just these puddles where she had been laying. So we had her on an incontinence medicine. Evidently it wasn't working. So now she is on something else and it has helped. Oh, and we may have to start setting an alarm to wake her up to go potty at night.

I feel so guilty that we didn't notice this before.

I'm the White Elephant in the Room

I'm going to get a little controversial here for a moment. One of the classes I had was called Social Problems. This class dealt with things in our world/community that affect society in a negative way, ergo Social Problems. We discussed population, marriage, drugs, families, abuse, crime, weapons..... and on and on. It was very interesting and I liked the class but it was a quite heavy for my heart to have to come to terms with what the teacher was saying. And in most ways I agreed with his positions and opinions. I really got into the environment/global warming discussion and population.

With that in mind, the recent natural disasters in Mynamar and China have me feeling a little ambivilent. While it is sad and horrible that those places have suffered a large loss of life, it kind of needs to happen. In a lot more places than just there. I do not exclude myself from this idea. Though I would rather something occur naturally rather than war related. Although, if a nuclear bomb were to be dropped on us in our area, that would be fine. I guess what I mean is I don't want to suffer, my family to suffer, to be homeless, or destitute. Just ended.

Also by the end of this class I am pretty much decided that E and I won't try for another baby. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, I probably would have decided not to try again anyway. It's all about population control. We are not going to go extinct unless we destroy ourselves. So let's quit fighting and start working together. And let's get gas prices down because OMG $3.75 a gallon?!?! It's not right and it needs to change. I am purposely not going anywhere unless I absolutely have to in order to save gas. It makes me very angry.

Be Still My Beating Heart

Have you seen the annoucement on TV by some legal team saying that if you've had heart surgery, the operating team may have used a drug 'without your knowledge' that may have severe side effects including death and if you have had this heart surgery you need to call them right away?



That's really awesome to tell someone who has a heart condition.



I'm just sayin'.

Busy as a Bee and Dealing with Pee

For months I have been waiting for the end of the semester so that I could relax, chill, get organized. Wanna know what I have done in the week since classes have ended? I have pressure washed 85% of my house (why didn't anyone tell me that pressure washing was so gratifying? I love it. I need help.) I have repainted my garage door and my porch railing (when I pressure washed I noticed the paint was flaking), made my Mother's Day cards, designed a card for a friend of mine, and I finally mopped my floors. I think its just the 'active' phase of my pregnancy. I think its too early for nesting. Also.... I'm procrastinating all of the shopping that I have to do.

Not because it will be tiring, but just because whenever I walk into a baby department I start having an anxiety attack. Then sales people start asking if I need any help, then about a dozen women with little babies pass by me. That's why I prefer setting up a registry online. The only downside is that I can't find everything that I need online so eventually I will have to go to the store.

Since we know that we are having a boy, I want to start looking for fabric and picking a color scheme. I have a lovely white porch rocking chair that I got last year for Mother's Day that I would like to bring into the 'room' and I would like to make cushions for it. Also, I have never made a quilt and I would really like to try. For Dani I cross-stitched a blanket and she still likes to use it. I would like for the Squirt to have a special blanket that I made for him as well.

On a complete tangent, after Sasha's surgery last week it took 5 people to carry her out to my van on a stretcher because her back end was still out from the anestesia. That's 81 pounds of dog and hair for those of you keeping track at home. They let me borrow a brace with handles on it to help her move around. I think that she has most of her mobility back, though it wasn't great to begin with. However, for a couple of days she did not have control of her bladder. Once she was laying on the living room floor and there was just a puddle at her back end. We looked at her and she wagged her tail and she had no idea that there was pee back there. I had also noticed a considerable wet spot on my bedroom floor. I don't have a carpet cleaner, which now I guess I need to get. The smell was getting pretty bad when I had a stroke of genius. White vinegar. I sprayed the carpet with white vinegar maybe 4 times throughout the day and by bedtime the smell was gone. So, if you have pet odor, try white vinegar in a spray bottle.

And I Shall Call Him.....

Squirt

Because he is 'rippin' rollin' and punchin'. This baby moves like Krazee.

Fini

It's done. I took my last final today. I'M SO GLAD!!!!

I just want to take a moment to give my accolades to all the women out there who work full time while pregant. I only had to go to class 2 days a week and do homework at home, for 4 classes and there were several times I thought that I would drop unconscious from exhaustion.

I don't remember the last time I mopped my floors. My weekly cleaning schedule is completely off. I've succumbed to ordering pizza one night a week because I just don't want to cook. Dani has been sad that I have't been at the bus stop to walk her home every day because I've been napping. There is stuff all over my house and I haven't even gotten any baby items yet. The dog hasn't been brushed, or groomed. She did have her surgery today and they called and said she is fine. I can pick her up later. I don't have to miss Ghost Hunters anymore on Wed. nights!!

I am just so relieved. I am planning on taking the summer and fall semester off and going back in Spring '09. I won't be able to do 4 classes again so it will put my completion of my AS until the fall sememster of '09.

I also feel really proud of myself. I know that I have two A's, maybe three if I did really well in Accounting. My stats. is going to be a B. I blew my A by getting a C on our last test.

Schooooool's. Out. For. The. Summer!!!