Something Bad Has Happened.
I want to say Congratulations to everyone who is now working with accredited agencies. I’m really excited for you.
As for us, the best and worst thing that could happen with our adoption has. Svetlana’s grandmother has petitioned the court for custody. We have lost our daughter. I am happy that she will be with her family, most likely before the end of the week. I am devastated because we have lost another child that we desperately loved without even knowing them. E said today that she is the luckies girl in the world because she has two families who love her.
I thought that the worst pain I could feel was having a child’s life begin and end inside me. But this is just as bad, if not worse.
We are quitting. We are going to follow through with E’s assignment in Florida and we will be leaving here in about 6 weeks or as soon as the snow is gone and we can drive through Canada safely.
I feel so raw right now.
So broken.
So…. sad.
We chose adoption because we didn’t have good luck getting pregnant. We chose international adoption because we didn’t want our child taken from us by a relative, and that’s exactly what happened.
Families coming to lay claim to these children happens so rarely. We just happen to be in that 3%. So, this bodes well for all of you. We took the hit.
Dani has been very supportive today. How does a 4 year old have the ability to make you smile on your darkest day? She told me before bed, “No more sad, Mommy.”
If only it were that easy.
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About Me
- Liv
- Me- 31, military wife, student, SAHM, perfectionist, a little OCD and a little crazy. But that makes me fun. Married to E... he's awesome. Mom to Dani age 7- my angel and introducing the Squirt- my new son who arrived with much pomp and circumstance in August '08.
10 comments:
Oh Liv, I'm so sorry. My summer hosting group has been dealing with this ever since the kids got back. The small village kind of freaked out about the prospect of so many kids leaving for America. Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas, and birthmoms were all popping out of the woodwork. Only one was successful in their petition to reinstate their rights to the child.
I know how you can love Svetlana without having ever met her. I don't think many outside of the adoption world can understand the power of that love. I'm not going to give any assvice on how to get past your broken heart. Just know that I'm here and I do understand. I'll be thinking about you.
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. It is a very hard and real pain, and I wish you and your family comfort during this difficult time.
Liv, I am so sorry you have to go through this pain. This is my constant fear every day. That someone will come and take A away from me after waiting so long. I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through.
There were originally 10 families in our "waiting" group. We are now down to 9. Right before Christmas one of the families was informed that their daughter was claimed by the Grandmother. We collectively cried as a group for this little girl and her family. Your story brings back the ache in my heart and it is devastating to hear it happen to another friend.
I am with Margaret. I won't offer any assvice on this one. Just know that this group of friends you have made is there to hold your hand through this. We'll be there when you need us. Hugs to you and your family.
I am sooo sorry. I know that there aren't any words to make this better. You are amazing to look at the good side of things. You must really love her. I know it would be so hard to start over. We are here for you.
Liv,
My heart is breaking for you. These kinds of things are so hard for me to understand. You and E are in my prayers. I can't imagine the pain of losing another child. I am SO sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss. No assvice here. I hope you find peace in whatever path you choose (adopting again, TTC again, being a one child family, etc.)
Im so sorry Liv.... dont know what else to say at a time like this..
I cannot imagine your pain and again Im really sorry
I know you don't know me at all. But, I have been following you through many of the blogging community. I am a newbie to the group. But, I could not go without saying that I am incredibly sorry for your loss.
You will be on our prayer list and I hope that God's grace will touch your hurting soul and the healing will begin. Please take care of yourself and I give yourself time to grieve. But, be good to yourself in the meantime as well. Our thoughts are with you and our hearts feel broken as well.
My thoughts are with you. This is a big worry for me with this whole process - I'm sorry you have to go through it. We are here to listen and to support you. Let us know if you need anything.
Liv, I'm so very sorry. This happened to me as well. Twice.
Take the time to grieve this loss.
Maybe you've had all you can take, but maybe you will find the strengh to continue. Thankfully I was able to plod forward to a very happy ending. Only you will know what is right for you. My heart bleeds for you tonight.
Take care.
Serena
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