The Evolution of M*A*S*H

Lately, in the afternoons I have found a few minutes of down time while I am making dinner and gettting Dani ready for soccer practice. I've been rewatching the MASH reruns on the Hallmark Channel.

I remember being Dani's age and my Dad always watched MASH. I remember back then my perception of the show was that it was a comedy. I thought that Hawkeye was funny and that was about the only reason that I watched the show. My Dad loved the show and we all knew to be quiet when it was on because it was one of the few things that he watched.

When I was in my early 20's I started watching it again, and it started to mean something different to me. The characters grew into actual people for me. I started to realize the drama in the storylines instead of the jokes. I became attached to the show and some moments started to become part of me.

Now, I find that MASH is starting to take on a whole new meaning. A large part of that is because of the current state of our country's position in the war. You may have gleaned that I am not a supportor of this fight. Which is a difficult position because my husband is active duty. Our livelihood is given to us by the government, but thankfully, I live where I can freely think that. I fully support our military. I do not support our current administration or its objectives. Bleh... anyway.

I watch MASH now, and I get a little frustrated, but mostly sad. I see more of the emotional struggle that the actors portray. I can see in their faces what I feel in my heart, that war is Hell, and it creates so much pain on all sides that it hardly seems worth it. We are fighting for democracy, but at the risk of decimating a culture in the process.

I'm especially touched lately because Jeneflower is currently living in Korea. Last week she did a lovely slide montage of of her family's journey around the countryside and the high points of their tour. What struck me the most was the photos of the DMZ. I saw it but I didn't believe it. How can people be 20 feet away from each other just waiting for the other to mess up. If one tripped and fell, they wouldn't even try to help. It hurts my heart that humans treat each other the way we do.

MASH has just been cementing this for me. I hate that we are in a war. However, I feel that it's too late for us to 'just leave'. We have done so much damage. One of my best friends here is raising her two kids because her husband died in Afghan 5 years ago. She talks about him a lot and I wish so much that I could have met him. My other friend's husband was on the first plane that landed in Baghdad. Our friends that E works with rotate every 3 months to go to locations undisclosed to 'fight for our freedom' (although I feel that our freedom has been fairly well established for a couple of hundred years and I don't think it is in danger of being taken away). My husband missed half of Dani's first year. And he will probably miss more. I would be naive to think otherwise. But I am thankful everyday that he comes home to me. But scared at the same time that he will come home, grab his bags, and 'try to call in a week'.

MASH has made me realize something else though. I have seen different aspects of the show and it has affected me in different ways. But it has never changed.

I have.

Our world has.

My heart has.