Top 5

I have a couple of things to update. Nothing too exciting, but updates none the less.

No news or info on the CNK. I have told Dani several times that no one can touch her body except Mommy, Daddy, and her doctor and if anyone ever does, she needs to tell us right away. I’ve been telling her every other day or so to make sure she gets the message. At this point she doesn’t seem to be freaked out or worried; in fact she doesn’t even seem to hear me, but I know she is listening. I did appreciate everyone’s input on the situation. Someone who posted anon said that I needed to call Children’s Services and get authorities involved. Believe me, if I felt that this child was a dangerous threat to my daughter or to anyone else’s kid, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, my gut tells me that he has been exposed to something inappropriate but I don’t feel that he is a predator. Second, I don’t really have anything to go to the authorities about. Just my list of things that creep me out. Rest assured that at no time is he out of my sight and/or listening distance when he is at my home. Neither is any other child who is here for that matter. It drives me crazy when I see kids out all day without a parent. I may be slightly overprotective though.

Next topic, I am redoing my kitchen cabinets. They did have a wood finish. They were very nice, but old, so I am giving them a touch up. Actually, I am making them look older. I have crackle finished my cabinet fronts and I am painting the rest of the cabinets a white color. I am contemplating painting my kitchen walls a blue color that matches the countertops. I will have E take some pictures for me so that I can get some input from all of you lovely people.

Third topic, the RE’s office called me back and I have an appt. toward the end of August. I’m just whiling away the days until then. My uterus blew my mind this week. I had my period again after only 35 days. I couldn’t believe it… I haven’t had cycles that close since being on the pill.

Topic four. School starts next week on the 2nd. Besides the obligatory “first day of school picture” how do the rest of you commemorate that special day?

Topic five. This is the worst. It started out great. It was a beautiful day today so my neighbor and I took the kiddos to the beach for the afternoon. We went into the water one last time to rinse off and I got slammed by a wave. I tried desperately to keep my suit bottom from getting pulled out into the Gulf and succeeded… however, my right booby wanted to get some sun. Yes, I flashed the entire beach my right boob. I guess nipple slips are so passé that I had to raise the bar. E was very upset that he missed it.

So what embarrassing moments will all of you treasure from this summer?

Proud Mom Moment

I took Dani to register for kindergarten and I was received by a very friendly receptionist who barraged me with a pile of paperwork. Thankfully, with my experience at filling out adoption paperwork I was eerily prepared and breezed right through it. I came armed with birth certificates, marriage license, residence information, and shot records. It was very self affirming.

I sat down to fill out the registration forms and gave Dani some paper and a pen to keep herself busy with. She started drawing pictures of herself and me. Lately her pictures have developed from lopsided circles with sticks for limbs to more rounded circles with sticks. So, she hasn’t come far in that respect, but she has been paying more attention to detail. She was describing what she was drawing, “Here’s my hair, and my eyes….and my ears, and hands. Oh, and here are my phalanges.” I was so proud. I almost heard the receptionist’s neck snap as she looked toward us. Internally I screamed, “YES! I have an exceptional child!”

And OMG! Yesterday she turned 5!

I's Purty Smart, Ain't I?

*Slight update on the CNK. He has been lying to us about his age. He is not 8, only 6 ½.*

I think that if any of you knew me, you may find me a little annoying. I love to cook, clean my house, raise my daughter and decorate my house to look like the inside of a magazine, though the last is far from true at this point. I even enjoy dieting because I get to cook two different dinners; one for E and Dani and the other for me. I just love cooking.

I manage all the money in our house, keep on top of the bills to a point that almost annoys E, and I am always making new plans on paying off our loans earlier.

But I had my shining moment today. Before I sound like a complete dimwit, I need to give some background. We have not had a house phone for 3 years. We have only had our cell phones.

So, I had called NW4B to ask if they would like to come over for dessert. They were busy and didn’t answer the phone so I Ieft a message with my request.

So, I call another friend and invite her and her girls to Dani’s birthday party next weekend. Then this beeping starts and I almost ask her is she has another call, because I hear beeping on the line. But I am the one getting the call. But I don’t know how to switch over because it’s a brand new phone and I don’t know how all the buttons work. I can see on the caller ID that it is my neighbor. So I’ll just call her back.

When I get done, I do so, and NW4B says they will be down in a little while.

Fast forward to when we are having dessert and NW4B asks if she listened to my voicemail.

“I have voicemail?”

“I didn’t know I had voicemail.”

“Is that why my dial tone sounds weird whenever I pick up the phone?”

So, after they left, E calls to check our voicemail and he has to set up the password and everything. He checks our voicemail and there are 3 messages. Two from my aunt, who called on the 3rd of July, and one from NW4B.

I felt so stupid.

Mama Bear Out

I really appreciate everyone’s comments on my last post. You have all, again, reaffirmed to me that my instincts are right. I am especially glad that the 2 anon peeps spoke up. I feel that in a situation like this, all insights are valuable. I hope that in the future you will continue to speak up in situations where 360 degrees of opinions are needed.

I have thought long and hard about what my actions will be. I don’t want to ostracize the poor kid. He obviously needs some direction that he may not be getting from home. Ideally, I would like the topic to come up casually so that I can talk to him about it without scaring him or embarrassing him. I also would like to talk to his mom. She is a very sweet person though I fear a bit ignorant or too proud. Even to close to the situation. As much as he annoys me, I want to be a person in his life that he can trust. It’s that mother instinct that I seem to have toward all children even if they scare me.

Problem is, I can’t fix everyone. I am going to continue to watch the situation closely and the second that he attempts something else inappropriate, I am going to call him on it. I will also go to his mom, discuss it calmly and suggest that she go to her family doctor to find some resources to get her son help. I want to be supportive and not that neighbor who made her son out to be monster.

I will keep you updated on the situation as it unfolds.

Protecting Your Young

I feel at a stand still getting the house done. Most everything is unpacked. We want to redo our living room with different furniture and a new home office area but we ran out of money. We got E a little white truck with the cash we had saved up. I also bought E a kayak for Father’s Day, and we had to pay for 20 days of our hotel while we were waiting for the house to close. So, I have all the fantastic ideas for the house, but no money to do it with. In time, our savings will start to grow again, but there are other things that are more important.

First, Dani’s birthday is on the 17th. She will be 5.

5!!!!

My baby!!

5!!!

And I have no idea what we are going to do for her big present. I would like to get her a trampoline. I think she would have a blast if she would actually use it. Some neighbors down the street have an in ground one. That sounds awesome. I would also have to dig up my beautiful green yard.

I would like to throw her a party, but we only know 2 little girls her age. There are several other kids in the neighborhood, but they are all boys and with the exception of one, they are older.

Speaking of older boys, there is one particular boy (8 years old) in our neighborhood that……concerns me. I have named him the Creepy Neighborhood Kid (CNK). This sounds cruel, but I am an adult and he makes me very uncomfortable. There have been some things that he has done while playing with Dani that I find odd. Let me make a list.

1. He knows no boundaries of personal space.

2. The first few times that he came over, Dani would go into her room to get a toy and he would follow her, and immediately close the door. I didn’t think of this much the first time, but after a few minutes, Dani started crying and she said that “he was laying on me”.

3. This caused me to make the rule that doors stay open unless you are in the bathroom.

4. One day when they were playing, I quietly peeked in Dani’s room and she was laying sideways on her bed reading a book. He was standing at her knees with his hands on the bed on either side of her like he was getting ready to get on the bed with her. He jumped away and said, “I’m not doing anything.”

5. Now I have a rule that they aren’t allowed in her room.

6. He picked up E’s cordless drill, that did not have a drill bit in it, and put it to my temple and he said he was going to kill me. I told him, “Oh no, that is absolutely not OK to do at my house.”

7. He told Dani that she was stupid because she didn’t know what 2 + 2 was. She came and asked me if she was stupid and I told her of course not! I explained to CNK that he is twice her age, and he is going into 3rd grade and that she is very smart for a little girl who is not 5 yet.

8. He wanted to play a game with Dani that he was putting her into jail because she was drinking beer and doing drugs. I told him that she doesn’t know what those are, and to please not play games like that.

9. He came into my room following Dani who wanted to ask me a question. She climbed onto my bed next to me to snuggle. He climbed up as well and spooned her. I tried to make a joke out of it and told him to sit up. If he was tired, then he could go home to take a nap.

10. Shortly after that, I made a new rule that they could only play in the front yard and only if Dani wanted to. My reason to him was that if his mother called for him, he would hear her. This also allowed Dani to make the decision if she wanted to play with him or not.

11. The day after I made that rule, I met a new neighbor down the street. She has 4 boys the youngest of which will be 6. She heard me tell CNK that they could play in the yard, not house, and told me, “That’s a good rule to have.” She then proceeded to tell me that 2 days before she had popped open the locked door to her son’s bedroom and found CNK naked on top of her 5 year old son. Let say, someone’s business was in some else’s mouth. He jumped off the bed, blamed it on her son, and then said they weren’t doing anything wrong. She took him home and made him tell his father what happened. He blamed it on her 5 year old saying that he was doing it too.

12. He told me his favorite movie is Chucky.

13. Neighbor with 4 boys (NW4B) has since ‘had it out’ with CNK’s parents and the boys are no longer allowed to play with each other.

14. The CNK told me I was his ‘Love’.

15. He likes to hug me. This is uncomfortable because I have a large chest and his head comes right to it. So, I avoid it at all if possible, if not, I bend down.

16. He told Dani, when he thought that I wasn’t listening, that if she didn’t show him her teeth, he would hit her.

17. His mother called me after NW4B and I met to tell me how wonderful her son is and how sweet, and smart he is.

18. His actions have made me so concerned that I spoke to my doctor about it and asked him what I should teach Dani about inappropriate behavior.

19. When he comes over, he rings the door bell and bangs on the door and peeks through the window until we answer the door.

So, am I overreacting at all by feeling that the next time I see this child will be too soon? You know what else scares me? She will be riding the school bus with him. If he hasn’t isolated her, are there other children in danger? I almost want him to try something so that I can catch him. Then I will have a valid concern to talk to his mother about. However, while on the phone with me, she said repeatedly that she believed in her son. They have had no problems in the 2 years that they have lived here and NW4B has only been here a few months.

You know what else terrifies me? I was molested by classmates from 3rd until 5th grade. It doesn’t only happen from adults. How am I supposed to protect Dani while she is at school? My parents never knew. Will I?