I really appreciate everyone’s comments on my last post. You have all, again, reaffirmed to me that my instincts are right. I am especially glad that the 2 anon peeps spoke up. I feel that in a situation like this, all insights are valuable. I hope that in the future you will continue to speak up in situations where 360 degrees of opinions are needed.
I have thought long and hard about what my actions will be. I don’t want to ostracize the poor kid. He obviously needs some direction that he may not be getting from home. Ideally, I would like the topic to come up casually so that I can talk to him about it without scaring him or embarrassing him. I also would like to talk to his mom. She is a very sweet person though I fear a bit ignorant or too proud. Even to close to the situation. As much as he annoys me, I want to be a person in his life that he can trust. It’s that mother instinct that I seem to have toward all children even if they scare me.
Problem is, I can’t fix everyone. I am going to continue to watch the situation closely and the second that he attempts something else inappropriate, I am going to call him on it. I will also go to his mom, discuss it calmly and suggest that she go to her family doctor to find some resources to get her son help. I want to be supportive and not that neighbor who made her son out to be monster.
I will keep you updated on the situation as it unfolds.
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About Me
- Liv
- Me- 31, military wife, student, SAHM, perfectionist, a little OCD and a little crazy. But that makes me fun. Married to E... he's awesome. Mom to Dani age 7- my angel and introducing the Squirt- my new son who arrived with much pomp and circumstance in August '08.
4 comments:
You are brave to approach his mom. I'm right behind you, giving you moral support while I hide behind the bushes whispering, "Talk to her, go, go, you can do it..."
Good luck to you. Let us know what happens.
You have made the right decision. However, be prepared. We talked to the parents of my son's offender.... and within minutes the tables were turned. My son (age 6 at the time) was a liar, making it up etc. They even accused my husband of somehow being involved! We feel in our hearts that we did the right thing by trying to talk to the parents.... which in the beginning was to hopefully alert them to something that may be happening to their child. They would hear nothing of it. Again, be strong and act. You may be helping this boy....if someone would have done that for my ex-neighbor perhaps my family would not have had to go thru this ordeal.
Obviously your first priority is protecting Dani. You're good, caring, and observant mom. You're on guard and you will successfully protect her. I know that.
I'm so glad that you realize, despite his threat to Dani, that this little boy has more than likely been hurt himself and needs help. I'm really impressed with your empathy.
My niece was sexually abused by the younger brother of her teenage babysitter. My nephew (older than my niece) is the one that brought it to my sister's attention. My sister and brother-in-law went to the parents of the babysitter and his younger brother. They were not received well. To our knowledge, the boy never recieved any help of any sort.
My niece is now 24 years old. She's finishing up her Master's degree, she just got engaged, and she's a wonderful person. But she spent time in therapy just this past year because she's still dealing with confusion and lingering issues from the abuse she endured.
I don't mean to scare you with that story. But I just want to say it so you know that a bigger action is warranted if a conversation with his mother doesn't go well. He needs help -- and like you said, his mom may be too close to see the truth.
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