.... I hope it doesn't run out into traffic.
We made a formal announcement to our family and friends via email and a MySpace bulletin this weekend after we called our mothers. We finally confessed to our mothers what we have done. Actually, Dani told them. I still didn't want to be the one to tell my mom. I was wondering about that and E suggested maybe since I am finding out so many things that my mom failed to disclose to me that I feel justified in not sharing this with her. Makes sense to me. Thankfully, she didn't plan an immediate trip up here. I think we are safe from that until the summer.
Now, after telling everyone I wish that we hadn't. I liked having that knowledge between us and our CLOSEST friends and family. Now, I feel like we jumped the gun, and didn't wait long enough. Like now something is going to go wrong. I guess it would help if I knew if these feelings in my gut were and actual living baby, or just my nerves.
My ultrasound is scheduled for April 17th. I'm excited and dreading it. Everyone keeps asking if we are going to find out the sex. I don't want to. Now, if I happen to see something on the screen, then there really won't be any denying it. And of course I'll share it with E. But beyond that? I don't really want to share. Everyone keeps asking, "But how will we know what to buy?" Well, I haven't asked for any kind of shower, I haven't planned any theme for the nursery, and I haven't expressed a desire for either one. I fully understand that my friends are as excited and hopeful as me, but that kind of thing has always made me uncomfortable.
I started a T@rget registry for US. Meaning, it is intended as a way for me and my non-brain to keep track of what we need. I don't know yet whether I even want to share that with anyone.
Why it is easier for me to share this with people I have never met and feel completely fine with it, but talking to a friend about it makes me break into a cold sweat?
I must be allergic to the cat.
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2 comments:
Liv, I did the same thing with a "registry": a means of keeping track of things.
As for the sex, I get the same question as well. For us, knowing that this is our last baby, it makes no sense for me to invest in items I subconsciously purchase that are pink or blue as we will get rid of everything as soon as it is outgrown. I'd rather double my market by purchasing neutral items.
At least the telling is done and over and you don't have to worry about it anymore.
Ditto on the registry. I didn't want a shower either, and I still think of the registry as just for ME. In fact, I was pissed when Target deleted my list!
If you think you may feel differently about knowing the sex down the road (when it all feels more real? more safe?) make sure to ask them to note it somewhere for you.
I love a baby in a plain white onesie.
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