My Favorite Dad

I have a lot of things floating through my mind lately. Today, I would like to concentrate on one. When I was growing up as a J. Witness, we never celebrated Mother's or Father's Day since it wasn't a day celebrated in the Bible. I didn't really have a great relationship with my Dad either. He was volatile in a lot of ways. He never seemed to be happy, and he was quick to lose his temper. Usually I got yelled at the most since I was the oldest and should have been monitoring my siblings a little better when they were left in my charge.

After my parents divorced, we didn't see my Dad for a long time. We were kind of scared of him and I realize now that we were somewhat influenced by my Mom about our feelings. She tended to blame the breaking up of our family on my Dad's mental state as opposed the the fact that she worked 60 hours a week, drove us into debt, oh, and that pesky office affair that I learned about years later. In the past 6 years or so, I have gotten closer to my Dad and when we talk it is good conversations. I send birthday cards, Father's Day cards, Christmas cards, and I call when I am not wallowing in self pity. Because the only thing worse than talking to someone while you are wallowing, is talking to that person who is never NOT wallowing in self pity.

In the 3 years that E and I were together before we became parents I often wondered what kind of Dad he would be. We had lengthy discussions on what kind of parents we didn't want to be and how we didn't want our kids to act. We had hundreds of examples to learn from. In fact, we rarely encountered a family unit that we felt modeled what we wanted our family to be. We rarely see that even now.

From the time that we found out we were finally having Dani, he was fantastic. He was always supportive, never overbearing. He read stories to her, he went shopping with me. He shared every emotion with me. And even when I had nightmares about him cheating on me because I was fat and I woke up and kicked him, he never got mad at me. He brought me a cup of orange juice every morning before he left for work and we were watching a movie together at home when my contractions started.

At the hospital, he was perfect. He didn't watch TV, he held my hand, he almost fainted when I got my epidural, and he didn't fall asleep until I did. When he cut the umbilical cord, he cried. (Today I still ask Dani,"Who made your belly button?" and she will say, "Daddy did.") He couldn't make up his mind after she was born who to make a fuss over, her or me.

He changed her first diaper, he held her for hours. He recounted the delivery story to our visitors. When we brought her home, I never had to ask for help. He was always right there. He took a month off from work to stay home with us, and when he had to go back, he cried.

He deployed when she was 3 months old. I sent him pictures, and a cassette tape of her laughing. He missed her terribly and when he came home she had doubled in size and weight. He fed her her first baby food (sweet potatoes, that she will not touch anymore). He jumped right back in helping me take care of her like he hadn't been gone a day when in reality it was 90+. He was home for 3 months, then deployed again. He missed her 1st birthday, and our anniversary. I got through the second deployment better. When he came home again, she took her first steps. He played with her outside by dropping leaves on her head and she laughed so hard she fell over. He can still make her laugh like that now.

Over the past years, he has never faltered in doing what a Dad is supposed to do. He amazes me every day with his love, his patience, devotion and dedication. I know in my heart and soul that he is deeply committed to me and Dani and will be forever. We work so well together as a family I frequently feel that we are all soul mates.

This morning while I slept, he ran around the backyard with her, in their pajamas, shooting waterguns. When she watches her princess movies, he dances with her. He plays Polly Pockets and Barbies. She has Legos too and since she loves dragons right now, he has built her 2 dragons that they can fly together.

He has surpassed all of my hopes and dreams for the Father that my child would have. I never imagined a Dad like him. What's more amazing to me, is that he never had a father role model while he was growing up. I've asked him how he could be such a good dad without ever really knowing his and he says that he learned from talking to me. And he loves Dani. He wants to be that for her. And I am so glad.

So, today on Father's Day, not only do I love my husband and the father that he is; I am truly grateful for him and the person that he is.