Let me just schedule that in

E and I had our own Working Mom/Stay at Home Mom debate last night. Here I have been thinking that I have a fantastic husband who supports my education and my longing to contribute to the family. Lately when people ask me what I do; I say that I am going to school. Then we talk about what degree I'm going toward and then I mention that I want to start working so that we can start saving some money and E can go to school too. He asked me last night where I thought this 'new baby' would fit in. Aren't I going to stay home? I did it with Dani, why not the next one? You're OK with daycare? I thought kids were your number 1 priorty?

I was really surprised. After I finally understand what exactly he was worried about; the new baby not getting the full attention that it would require that made Dani such an awesome baby and toddler. I had to tell him that I'm not counting on us having a new baby. He didn't quite realize that I have invested so much of the past 12 years waiting for a baby that I have put off some things. Mainly my education. I used to be naive enough to 'wait until next month'. Now I am weathered.

As for kids being my priorty. Of course our children have always been my priority. I invested all that I had in giving Dani everything that she needed to become a fantastic kid. Lately I have realized that in doing that, I left little pieces of me along the way. Going to school and forming plans and realizing dreams has been giving me those pieces back. I told E that our kids will always be my priority, but now I am becoming a priority too.

I have strong feelings about daycare. I used to work in one and I learned a lot. Like I would never want a child of mine to spend more time there than at home. If at any time working or school inhibits what I can give to my child the job is gone. And that goes for daycare too. I learned that being a stay at home mom to Dani was amazing for her development. I also learned that it excluded her from some social skills. Believe me, she has made up for since she started school. But she used to be very shy. Instead of asking E or I to play with her, she now asks for other children. We are making progress. I also don't like it when parents drop off their kids at 6am and don't pick them up until the last possible minute only to take them home, feed them something and put them to bed. THAT is letting someone else raise your child and I don't think that is right.

I also had to address the length of time that I was going to stay home with said 'new baby'. I mentioned a time line of a few months and E was very upset with that. He said would the new baby not be worth that time? I had to let him know that I am subject to changing my mind. I might decide to stay at home for a year. Or two. Heck maybe 5. I also think that we, as parents, are very involved and aware of what our child would need.

The point is I felt like I had to defend my plans to my own husband. I was very defensive and I almost ripped him a new one for wanting to 'hold me back'. It wasn't until he understood that I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment in the long run if we didn't have another baby that the tension dissipated. Besides is there a better reason than a baby for putting off your plans?