Life

There have been a few noteworthy things that happened in the past week that were blogworthy.... but I don't remember them. Not a whole lot is going on in my life. I like having the distraction of school because it keeps me from wallowing in self pity.

We are in mid cycle again, and even though I love E immensely, I'm pretty tired of having sex. I just can't help it though. I am using OPKs but I have never had luck with home tests, so I am not relying on their accuracy. On Monday, I had a mature follicle measuring at 17. What unit of measuring is that? Last night my lower abdomen started aching and today it is worse. It hurts a lot. OTC pain relievers are doing nothing, and I don't know if I'm ovulating and it just hurts like crazy or if my ovaries are popping.

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Dani had a milestone last night. She read us her very first book. I'm sure that it helped that she already had the story memorized but I did make sure that she looked at every word and we worked together sounding out the ones she didn't know. I have been going to her school to have lunch with her once a week for the past several weeks. When I went the other day, her teacher asked, "Do you work?" I snorted a "No". She asked if I wanted to. I guess there are a couple of kids in the class who are having trouble with reading and recognizing sounds so she asked if I could come in and volunteer a couple of days a week. So I will start that next week.

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My computer has been driving me crazy the last week. I was having trouble logging into anything relating to Yahoo-ligan.com which included my messenger, email, homepage, and bookmarks. But I could access any other site on the internet. It was driving me crazy because I obsessively check my email 50 times a day. I guess it was a problem with my ISP and when we called for tech support there was an automated message saying that the problem had been fixed and we needed to reset our modem. YaY!!! I had to start kicking my self though, because I wondered how long ago they had fixed it and I hadn't thought to reset the modem. But everything is fixed now, I sifted through the 60 emails that I had. Most were from my mother who only knows how to use the forward button.

That's about it that is going on with me. I am still going through a lot of stuff in my head, but I don't really know how much I want to share. Problem is, I'm not sharing it with anyone else because I know that there are those that have it harder or who don't understand my position so I don't want to offend, but at the same time, I'm really broken up still about Lana. I think about her everyday and my emotions range from pain, to anger, to sadness, relief, love, and everything in between. I think I generally hang onto things longer that most people. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining all the time, but then I remember that this is kind of my place to do that anyway.

I can't tell how much just knowing that people check in with me means. I know that I am not as poignant or interesting as most everyone else, but it still means a lot to me that people stop by. When I checked my email, I even had a note from a fellow blogger wondering if things were OK. They are, and thanks for asking. I'll try to be more diligent. Someday though, I'll tell you about the journal that I started almost 7 years ago that is only 3/4 full now. Hehe...