Volcano

The ground trembles for months
Your wails are angry and squalling.
The landscape is evolving
It will never be the same.
The Gods cannot appease you
We cower from the inevitable
Eruption!
Your first tooth.

The Squirt actually cut his first tooth about 2 weeks ago. I just haven't had 2 minutes to post it. His second one cut through 2 days ago. He is much happier now. We all are.

Unexpected

10 reasons why a nearly empty box of pantyliners is the perfect toy.

1. Because you are desperate for 2 minutes to brush your teeth.

2. Because at first the box is a drum.

3. Since the box is cardboard, it doesn't disinegrate when a certain luscious baby puts it in his mouth.

4. When the pantyliners start falling out of the box, it's a brand new toy!

5. Pantyliners are absorbent. Perfect for a drooling, teething baby.

6. The backing makes a wonderful crinkling sound. The baby manipulates his hands working fine motor skills!

7. If the baby gets the crinkly backing off of the pad, it doesn't rip when he puts it in his mouth.

8. If the crinkly backing is off, the baby cannot drop his new toy. It is stuck to him!

9. Those 2 minutes to brush your teeth? It turned into 15 minutes of lovely silence.

10. Pantyliners look funny when stuck across a baby's forehead.

Moving On

We have been living her for almost 3 years now. We closed on this house on June 5, 2006 and spent the previous 4 weeks in a hotel on the island. This is the first place that E and I have ever lived that we will be here for more than 3 years. It feels like we have a migratory clock. We both feel the need for a big change, but there isn't anything to change.

Something that was never mentioned to us in the endless pieces of advice about buying a home were neighbors. It has only recently occurred to me that when you buy a house, you are investing in that neighborhood too. We had always enjoyed close relationships with our neighbors before and we do now. But we are realizing that we are going to be friends with these people for a long time. And let me tell you, it is much easier to be neighbors with someone than to be their friend. There is a lot of drama that goes on in a close neighborhood. And if you are in the middle of it, especially when that drama is between two of your closest friends, then things get sticky.

My neighbor M, bless her, had the worst luck it seemed. It appeared that her kids kept getting targeted in fights, her husband was an ass, she couldn't find a job, they never had any money, the list is endless. However, in getting to know her over the last few years, I've realized that she is the catalyst that always messes things up for her. Last year, she came to me begging for help because her house was in foreclosure. She was going through a loan modification process and that was going to help her. So, I helped. I helped her write a letter to her lender explaining her hardships, and she got approved. She wound up with a mortgage that was less than mine, and she has a house twice as big as mine + she has a pool. She later told me that she went into foreclosure on purpose so that she COULD get her loan modified.

Last summer, she told me that she went into preforeclosure again because the rates went down again. I told her I wasn't going to write a letter for her (in addition to the ones I had written to a previous employer, another lein holder, and the county when her husband got arrested during a domestic dispute). I told her that was a scheme just like my mother would pull, I felt it was unethical, and she was taking advantage of the process. She didn't talk to me again until after the Squirt was born because she couldn't stay away from him.

Three weeks ago she came to me again. She went into preforeclosure again. And she wanted me to write her a letter. Again. I told her no. I told her she was cheating. She said that Obama had a new program in place. I told her, "You didn't believe in his programs enough to vote for him, but now that you need it, you'll take it?" She said, "Hell yeah!" I refused to write the letter. Now we weren't yelling. I was joking around with her and she was joking with me. We never raised our voices. I was very honest though in my position and told her she was acting very financially irresponsible. She retorted that it didn't matter because her credit was awful anyway which I rebutted that it is awful because she keeps doing things like this! I told her in 2 years when her son wants to go to college he'll have no hope to pay tuition because of her choices now.

She has since redone her master bathroom, and kitchen. Complete with cutting out a half wall, and getting granite counter tops in both rooms, and new cabinets in the kitchen. She gets a manicure and pedicure weekly. She goes out to dinner at least once a week. They have 4 vehicles (a fifth one got repossessed, and one of them doesn't work).

And she can't pay her mortgage. A mortgage that is less than mine.

She has also had it out with one of my other neighbors. This year. In the three years that we have lived here, she has gotten into arguements with 6 families and has cut off contact with them all.

I am keeping a low profile. I bet she's mad at me again. And honestly, I don't see how I am losing anything in that.

Annoyed

Who has a whole week off from classes for Spring Break knowing that on the first day back there will be an essay test and doesn't take any of that time adequately prepare for that exam, doesn't show up on test day, then hims and haws with the instructor to finagle time for a make up test?

The chick who sat next to me, that's who.

Checking Myself

There are blogs that I just shouldn't read. But I can't help it. I just disagree with so much of what they say. But I still have a natural curiosity to understand how other people think. I never flame them for their positions. At least not in their comment section. E gets an earful now and then because I just cannot believe that some people are so intolerant of the way that other people choose to live their lives.

There are controversies over breastfeeding, abortion, vaccinations, ART, sexuality, weight, politics.... the list is endless. And all everyone can do is get their panties in a twist and huff around because the author's opinion is just so wrong. Or ignorant. Or hateful. I don't know why I want to understand some people's point of view so much. I would never confront them because they are free to have their own thoughts. And they justify those thoughts and are convicted of their positions. And that is just fine. It is not my job to make them think any differently.

I guess its like a trainwreck. You can't just look away. My eyes have been opened to other people's positions. Some that I feel are archaic and old fashioned. Other's are very modern and almost as unfeeling and unaccepting. Both are guilty of not tolerating the polar view, which I feel is unfortunate. I don't think that people should get out of their comfort zone to concede to someone else's view, but is a simple, "Huh, I never thought of it that way" too much to ask?

When my ex mother-in-law died, I started going through a change. My goals and opinions changed. My feelings on tradition and obligation changed. I began to grow into the person that I am today. I formed ideas of what I wanted to accomplish in my life. I wanted to do something. To be something. And I started on the road there.

I am a whole new person now. Only 13 years later. Only. That's 1/3 of my life. I don't mean to sound "wise beyond my years". It means something to me.

I'm starting to awaken again. I'm starting to change. I find that I am becoming more defined in my position of tolerance and love. And it angers me that people who are intolerant infuriate me because it is completely counter-productive.

I'm a tolerant person. And it upsets me when people try to change my mind about things I have thought long and hard on. Things are going to be written here because I am changing. I am becoming someone new. You may not agree. And that's OK. But it is also OK if I don't agree with you. It is an opportunity for dialogue. Because if we don't understand each other, there is no hope.

7 Months

Behind again. Pictures coming soon.

The Squirt is so fun. He has started bridging when he lays on the floor. He gets SO excited when he sees us. Dani has a renewed interest in him and he loves her. She likes to carry him around and he squeals and grabs her hair.

His gums are angry. I'm excited to see when his teeth will come in. Dani's came in on her first Easter which was March 31. It will be a huge coincidence if his break through on the 12th.

We hooked up a swing on the tree in our front yard. He loves to swing. But I need to get a new one that has an actual seatbelt. E and I have had to adapt an old belt of his to be a seatbelt.

He has discovered the fine art of blowing raspberries. The neverending sound of "Dadadadadadada" quickly evolving into "Didididididid" and the baby singing sound of "lalalalalala".

He has a new appreciation for his babysitter who had to go out of town for 3 weeks due to her father's death. He spent those three weeks among different moms in my neighborhood (all good friends), but he seems to like being with Sitter much more.

He has a jumpy seat that he LOVES. We have had to raise it twice since he has started using it. I think with every jump he grows. I even move it outside and he will sit on the porch and play for an hour. I hear squeals of adoration coming from people passing by on their walks. I'm really proud of him.

He has started to gain a little bit of balance and will sit unassisted for a few minutes at time. The poor thing has no upper arm strength and can't push himself up yet.

He has finally succumbed to the wonderfulness of food. He now enjoys an early morning bottle, a late morning bowl of cereal, an afternoon bottle, a late afternoon baby food adventure (2 containers), and an evening bottle. Usually there is another bottle sometime during the night. He just can't quite get through the without a little extra nummie.

I have a wall in the kitchen where I have marked Dani's growth and now I have added his in. It doesn't seem real that he has already grown half a foot since birth. There are still moments when he doesn't seem real.

Really, there is nothing in the world that is as magical as the existence of your child. Maybe I feel this deeper appreciation because my kids came to me through such a long fight. It's almost as if the Squirt is a huge reward. He is the perfect addition to our already rich lives.

I know this has a rushed tone, but I really wanted to pound this out while my thoughts are still fresh in my mind. I have pictures to add, I just need to crop a few.