No Brainer

I swear I have no brain. About halfway through the day yesterday I realized that the bodysuit that I had dressed the Squirt in in the morning had been backwards. I then decided that since it had already been half the day, we weren't going anywhere, and he wasn't complaining that I would leave it that way.

This year for Christmas dinner we are going Mexican. I've wanted to start a tradition in our house for a long time of having a different ethnically prepared dinner but never got around to it until last year. Don't get me wrong, I love a good turkey dinner, but not 2 of them so close together. Last year was the perfect time to start. H@ ll m@ rk started a new ornament series called Doors Around the World or something like that. Last year was Germany, so we had a German menu. This year is Mexico so we are having Mexican. It saves me a lot of trouble narrowing down the country myself. ****This all feels familiar being typed.... maybe I explained this last year?****

With my decreasing mental faculties, I am so glad that my brother is coming out to visit. He can help me cook. Today and tomorrow we have cookies to bake, a pork roast to cook, tamales and empanadas to fill, and guacamole to make. I still have to get a few things from the grocery store. I also have to finish cleaning the house.

Do any of you have special family traditions?

Exposed

I just got home from picking up a few odds and ends from my grocery list.

I put those few things away on the shelf in my laundry room and walked into the kitchen.

Then I heard a horrendous crash.

My shelf fell off the wall. I currently have cereal, bottle pieces, popcorn kernels, soup cans, cartons of broth and stock and several other things sprawled across my laundry floor.

The crash woke the baby.

I went into my room to change my shirt because long sleeves were not cutting it and I need to turn on the A/C.

When I whipped off my shirt I discovered I have been running errands around town with my nursing bra unhooked.

It's not even noon.

How's your day going?

Lost and Found

Just when I wonder if the internet hinders my relationships with people instead of helping them, I get a kick in the pants.

About 9 years ago, my very best friend, her then husband, and their 4, soon-to-be 5, children moved to Japan. We both promised to keep in tough with phone calls and emails. We even played a game online together that we spent several hours on. I was sure that with the ease of electronic communication we would never lose touch. Well, we did. Changing emails addresses, both of us moving, then her separation and divorce from her husband and we quickly lost touch. We only exchanged one phone call and email until 2004, I think. There has been nothing since.

At least once a month I would search for her on MySpace, but I had no idea if she had gotten remarried and changed her name. So, my searches were in vain.

Then last week, a great thing happened. She found me. I have been elated ever since. We quickly exchanged phone numbers and started catching up. We cried over each other's pictures and how much our children has grown. We talked about old friends and where we've been. We still have lots to talk about. Her life is different now but still wonderful.

I've missed her so much. It's perfect that she found me this time of year. We spent 3 or 4 Christmas' together and they have always been my most memorable.

The best thing about finding a soulmate is that when you lose touch and reconnect again, its as if no time has passed.

I'll Have Cheese with my Whine

I'm having a kind of crappy day. Mainly because I just feel like it. I really look forward to the weekends because that is when E and I try to spend some time together.... remembering what the other looks like mostly. Well, he got nominated/volunteered to videotape a Christmas party on base for the kids of the squadron. It's for good cause.... most of the kids have at least one parent deployed and its nice for the families to get together. However, Dani had a Scouting commitment to go to the local art studio to Paint with Santa. They had already paid when E told me that he was going to the squadron thing so we couldn't cancel.

So, we've not been together for most of the day. Well, I take that back. We were together this morning, or at least he was here whilst on the phone trying to find a troop to go to GA to inspect a plane. A plane that isn't even from our base. And evidently, the 4 bases in between E's and the one in GA do not have any personnel/equipment to do the job. I find that hard to believe.

A prime example of your tax dollars at work.

Anon

To what degree do you rely on blogging or other avenues, such as MySpace or Facebook, for communication with other people? How much do we rely on our computers for interaction? Are we losing some aspects of relationships by relying on the easy technical availability of email, personal websites, or online picture albums?

I know that I rely on them close to 100%. And sadly it is all one-way communication. Meaning it is me looking at other people's blogs or profile pages to see what is going on in their lives. Rarely do I ever participate in a discussion or even start one. But I am trying to get better.

I look at my MySpace friends and I can tell you what they are all up to. But I couldn't tell you when the last time I actually sent them a message or comment. I forget that just because I know that I am stopping by and checking things out doesn't mean that they do.

But I also like the anonymity. Sometimes I don't want people to know that I read their blogs. Sometimes I don't want to comment leaving a URL because I don't want them to know that I have a blog.

I joined Facebook about 2 weeks ago I think because Jeneflower passworded her site for hiatus purposes. She said that I could join Facebook and keep in touch that way. So I did. And the other day, my mom added me as friend. Now I don't even want to be on Facebook anymore. I like having a part of my life that she doesn't know about. I now feel that I have to censor myself. But how naive is that thinking when I am brazen enough to put my point of view out there for her to see? She could find this blog if she tried. I don't really cover my identity at all.

And I've said before, in a weird twisted way I almost want her to find me here so that she can see how I feel without it being turned on me. But I fear it at the same time. Because even though she aggravates me and frustrates me I don't want to hurt her feelings.

So how often do you interact with the bloggers and internet contacts that you follow? Or do you at all? Do you like being anonymous? Or are you extrovert and enjoy having several more ways to communicate with people?

Nipple Watch

Well, I think I had a period the other day. That was easy.

That is right around the timeframe that they came back with Dani. Along with a decrease in my milk supply. So far that doesn't seem to be an issue but I'll have to keep aware of how much the Squirt eats. He still seems really happy after he is done eating. When I pump I get 6oz. and when he eats a bottle he takes about 5oz. sometimes 6oz.

This kid is a monster. 14 pounds!! I am not concerned at all that he isn't getting enough to eat. However, I have to accept the possibility that in the next month or so I will be completely dry.

Damn PCOS.

I think we are nearing the end of middle of the night feedings and on our way to sleeping through the night. I've been working this week on keeping him awake until 7 or 8 and giving him his last feeding at that time. He is in bed and crashed by 8:30 or 9. I've had to get up a couple of times but only to plug in the bink and wrap him up tight in his blanket. To keep him from fidgeting himself awake I pin his arms to his sides and do a half assed swaddle. It seems to help quite a bit. I try to wrap slightly over his chin to help keep the bink in but I don't always get it.

He loves baths. I gave him one last night and he kicked and splashed that water into next week. It took an hour for my shirt to dry. What? Change my shirt? Ha... I don't even have time to go pee.

Teeter

Balance
Shifting
Out of control
Family
Demanding
No where to go
I'm tired
and sore
overwhelmed.
I'll give all that I have for them
But I'm afraid there will be nothing left
For Me.